“Where Is My Abba Father in All of This?”
Let me answer the two most difficult questions before I try to answer some of the others. I regularly struggled with these questions. “Will Laura get better?” “Do I need to be resolved to deal with the issues of mental illness and Laura for the rest of my life or for the rest of Laura’s life?”
You may be disappointed by my answer, but the best answer is “Maybe.” I came to this conclusion because I cannot know the future. At best, I could take comfort knowing that God knew the answers to both those questions. I left the answers to those questions in His hands, trying to learn to be content in the state of my life as it played out. Today, I continue to try to leave the answers in God’s hands.
Now to the question “Where is God in all of this?” I asked God the question – often – and waited for His answer. For most people, God’s answer to this question is difficult to accept. For me, I resolved to accept whatever answer God showed me through the Scriptures. One result is that I am writing this book and learning that God is in control of it and all facets of my life.
The second part of the answer is that He is always with everyone who believes in Him, everywhere, all the time. This is to say that God was with me in every aspect of my life at the same moment in time He was with Laura in every aspect of her life. I am not saying that I understand what He was doing, but I knew He never left us, nor did He ever forsake us.
Like understanding God’s faithfulness, understanding that He is not subject to space or time is vitally important as I dealt with my trials. This meant that as I went through life with Laura, it comforted me to know that God was with her.
The notion of God always being present became even more important as I watched Laura struggle with depression. I knew that she needed God to be with her and to comfort and protect her. At the same time, I realized that I needed Him to comfort and give me strength. We both needed His presence at the same time, and praise be to God, He was always there for both of us at the same time even when at times we were hundreds of miles apart.
I will tell you that I continued to struggle. It’s part of the human dilemma, where we want to believe and trust completely, but fight against what we can see, touch, and feel – what lies in front of our eyes. As a result, I constantly worried about Laura. I kept wanting to fix her myself, and often thought I could. Yet, regardless of my thoughts and my unfaithfulness to fully trust God’s ability to be there for both of us, He continued to be faithful and never left us alone.
What does it mean that God is not subject to space or time, and why is it important? This is a hard concept to accept with my finite mind – God is totally everywhere all at once. This means that He is completely where I am and where you are as you read this sentence. I cannot comprehend how He can be completely in two places at the same time, but He said it, and I still believe it.
“Am I a God at hand, declares the LORD, “and not a God far away? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him?” declares the LORD. “Do I not fill heaven and earth?’ declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah 23:23-24)
So here God says He is at hand and He is far away at the same time. He asks a rhetorical question: “Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him?” The answer is “No.” Then He says He fills heaven and earth. He reinforces this concept in other scriptures.
"Can you find out the deep things of God?
Can you find out the limit of the Almighty?
It is higher than heaven—what can you do?
Deeper than Sheol—what can you know?
Its measure is longer than the earth
and broader than the sea." (Job 11:7-9)
Scripture continues this theme. God showed me several other passages regarding His omnipresence. You can look at these on your own: 1 Kings 8:27and Psalm 139:7-10.
Clearly, Scripture teaches us that God is omnipresent – everywhere at the same time. But what about the question of His eternal nature? I have always thought that this is an even more difficult concept to grasp than His being in two places at one time.
God is everlasting and is not encumbered by time. He created time and He created the heavens and earth. “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” (2 Peter 3:8)
When I saw Laura in some of her toughest days, I longed for the passage of time, so that her immediate suffering would end and she could recover. I often hoped for Christ’s return so Laura’s pain would end. God saw her as in an instant, both present and future, and remained in control.
God’s eternal nature is often repeated in the Psalms.
“Lord, You have been our dwelling place
in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever You had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.” (Psalms 90:1-2)
So, God has always existed and will always continue to exist. The idea that to Him a day is as a thousand years demonstrates that time does not constrain Him from His purposes.