Dating God

Have you ever had that feeling that there’s something more out there? Like there’s more to life than what we see? Well, I know that feeling my friend, and in my experience that is God pursuing you. The bible has many stories of God reaching out to His creation, and has put the desire inside of us all to reach back to Him. I found out in the course of writing this book that if I really looked back and thought about it, God had been pursuing me all my young life just waiting for the day that I would turn and see Him. I have many examples of how God has pursued me, but let’s first focus on the one that pushed me to change.
It was mid-February and I had literally just broken up with my first long-term boyfriend at the beginning of the month. I moved back in with my parents having nowhere else to go. Obviously my pain was still very fresh and I was extremely sensitive about my recent loss of the relationship. Every Wednesday night at my home church we had a bible study group that I had been avoiding for a while. One not so special night I needed to get out of the house, so I decided to go. I’m willing to bet God knew I was going to be at this particular class, and saw fit to time this class to be the one that my pastor was giving about dealing with “Disappointment and failure”. Sweet, right? Ugh. Not really. I couldn’t believe the words on the study guide that was handed to me. Almost at once I could feel my heart begin to go crazy and my eyes fill with tears! How was it that the day I decide to come back was the one that my Pastor would shove all my recent disappointments and failures (literally) in my face? It was not very funny. In fact I thought it was pretty mean. But I know now that it was God trying to tell me that He saw my pain, and wanted to help me. Most of that night was spent using every last bit of self-control to not leave or break down in front of a room full of people. That study group lesson opened up a deep wound that I really didn’t want to deal with at that point. I just wanted all the pain to be gone without having to deal with it. But instead, I felt it all over again, and I felt so broken that I was afraid if I let go of my emotions I would fall apart in front of everyone and I didn’t like that one bit. After leaving I remember crying the whole drive home. It was only by the grace of God that I didn’t get into an accident, and made it home safely. Needless to say, that was a hard night. But that was also my billboard, my knock over the head where God was saying to me:
“Hey it’s me, and I’d like your attention please.”