Not a Failed Faith

Preface

I wrote this book out of compassion for children who experienced the loss of a loved one. They don’t understand—they’re very vulnerable to a sense of abandonment or unwarranted guilt settling in on them. They may even think it’s their fault. (The book evolved into a bit more than the short story for children which is Chapter 8. It ministers to all ages.) My sister, Nancy, died after years of believing for a healing. I felt I knew the reason, typed up a four-page explanation, and showed it to my sister, Sylvia, who thought it was beautiful, but wished she could believe it. I then realized that the family needed time for their own closure. In the meantime, I sought the Lord’s confirmation before stepping out to share my revelation with the others when the time would be right. After a couple of weeks, Sylvia was very concerned for how her young grand-children would be affected—they had faith for Nancy’s healing; sent her weekly hand-made cards of encouragement; and their church prayed for her frequently. “How am I going to explain it to them?” I suggested telling them what I told her. “But how?” I hung up the phone and within about twenty minutes, converted it into a short story for children, bringing to light the beauty of the other side of death. It was not birthed from my own imagination. I just started typing, never stopping to question, “What next?”

It’s a very sweet sad story—it was Nancy’s journey.

1
Background

In seven and a half months, we lost three family members. The first to die was my brother-in-law who battled lung cancer for thirteen months. By this time, one of my sisters had already gone through breast cancer for a year, then a year cancer-free, and now bone cancer for another couple of years. Their end-stage intervals overlapped. Nancy died twenty days after Walter. I remember telling people that no one should ever have to watch a family member go through death like that—not that they should stay away; it just shouldn’t happen. Unknowingly, leukemia silently blindsided a second sister by the last few weeks of Nancy’s life; but she wasn’t diagnosed until four weeks after Nancy’s death. Despite feeling bad, Linda put off seeing a doctor until she was very sick. Commitments to her family, the home, and work consumed her time and attention. Once the doctor saw her very critical lab results, he sent her straight from his office to the hospital, dying. Filled with hope and faith for her healing, we were again taking around-the-clock shifts at the side of another loved one, witnessing her rapid decline over the next four and a half months. Linda then joined Nancy and Walter in Heaven.

I suppose I could’ve gotten angry with God, or given up on believing Him for anything else after the final loss, but He was merciful enough to take me to a place of grace and peace that I never knew existed. It was one of those things of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). I was by no means spared from grief, but gratefully, my faith was left intact. It’s an indispensable weapon that has no limits—and God will not leave anyone limp. When you’ve had answers contrary to that for which you’ve believed, don’t be discouraged. Encourage yourself in Him. Disappointment will fade away. Never give up on something so precious as your trust in God—yours is not a failed faith.