Joy In Life

YOU CAN DO IT!

Another year has come and gone and I know we have all gone through our share of trials, disappointments and heartaches, but I also hope you have had the opportunity to experience much joy and peace to accompany it. Life really is a balancing act; sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down and many times our plans are thwarted just because life happens. However our successes and failures will always be determined by the way we respond to all of the trials and adversities life throws our way.
A full year has passed since I received the phone call from the Doctor that I did not want to hear. He called to tell me that after looking at my test results that I had cancer and suggested I should start with chemotherapy immediately. What followed was by far the most difficult and trying year I have ever had to go through. My oncologist immediately began working on a plan and a series of treatments to get rid of the cancer, and so did we. While she figured out what drugs to use and the number of treatments and tests I would need, well, we started believing through faith and prayer that somehow, someway, God was going to get us through.
I remember my daughter hanging a sign up that read; M.I.A. (Miracle In Action) and we believed everyday for a miracle to take place. My wife prayed for me everyday and was always there to encourage and support me, and when I went to the doctor, you can bet she went with me every time. Well we never received that instant healing, however everyday God performed a miracle by giving me enough grace to get me through that day.
There were days I thought I would never make it, with cancer they say the only way to make you better is to kill you with chemo and I honestly thought I was going to die. There were days I asked God to take me home but I guess it wasn’t time. Hours upon hours of sitting in a chair with medicine being pumped throughout your body will take its toll on your mind, will and emotions.
There were countless days of pain and nausea accompanied by loss of appetite, mouth pain, loss of weight, and constipation. I lived on Ensure, whey protein and 13 different medications I had to take every day and just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I lost all my hair… and I mean all of it including my eyebrows. There is nothing quite like getting up in the morning and finding your beautiful hair all over your pillowcase.
Relationships became very difficult as well, depending on the chemo treatment and drugs I was taking I was subject to mood swings and some pretty bad temper tantrums. Some nights I would sleep a bit however most nights I was up because I slept so much during the day. I couldn’t think clearly and became very forgetful. I lost my concentration and ability to focus so I could not read or write much. I was clumsy and it seemed everything I picked up I would drop.
My social life stunk. You know it’s bad when my best friends became my doctor, oncologist, proctologist, (who got to know me better than I know myself), Fox news and Dr. Phil. At first, I received a lot of calls, letters and e-mails from friends, but after awhile they kind of stopped and that’s understandable, we all have our own lives to live, but I managed to stay busy. If I got real brave or bored, I would visit my favorite places: Wal-mart and C.V.S. Pharmacy and this is bad, I got to know everyone that worked there by name. Oh well, desperate times require desperate measures.
The summer was the hardest because I could not go into the sun and in Arizona in the summer, well, that just leaves you inside the house all day. No swimming or going out to clean the yard or barbeque. Even with my wife by my side, life was pretty painful and monotonous.
At the same time I was going through my treatments my brother was going through chemo as well and we could really relate as to how each one of us felt. The problem was we seemed to talk about it a lot which made us even more depressed. Well my brother went to a better place and in retrospect I see God’s good and gracious hand in all of this.
A full year has passed since I received the phone call from the Doctor that I did not want to hear… but for the grace of God and a lot of help from my wife and family I am able to write to you today. Through this experience I have learned so much about God and His ways. His provisions and understanding, His patience, kindness, goodness and mercy that are beyond what we can comprehend. And His ability to reach down and lift us out of the deepest pits.
Today my body is healed and I feel better than ever. I am gaining weight and my taste for food has returned. Everything is a joy to me, now I can play a bad round of golf and still have a great time. I can’t wait for the pool to get warm enough to jump into. My attitude is much better and although I know I still need some work my tempers improved. I can think again, open jars and work in the yard, oh the things I took for granted. I have seen God work in miraculous ways and take care of every need throughout last year, I just can’t explain how.