Get Your Hopes Up!!!

Shall we Dance?
      “Life is a Dance with God,” said the notes I reread from a small group seminar I attended some years ago. My mind went to the discussion—I didn’t remember if the leader had given more details, but I distinctly remembered me thinking about how many people live their lives in a box-step format, each step of the same routine with perfect execution. I understand some people want that, but not me. I thought then, and I still do, that I want my life to be the most passionate dance with my Creator, so that if he were to dip me over shark infested waters, I would still go limp in his arms.

        Hmm, I thought as I contemplated that recollection. “Boy, a person sure would have to go through a heck of a lot of crap to gain that type of faith” Needless to say, I had no idea that my intense “dance lessons” would soon begin! And I don’t know how many times since then I’ve said to my dance partner, “God, the ponytail is hitting the water … just thought I would let you know …. In case you didn’t see.”

       Looking back, I don’t think I had quite gotten the “going limp in his arms” thing down very well at the time. Not that I have now, but I laugh sometimes at my current reaction to life-events, I have lightened up.

       You probably aren’t like this and would not look at things the way I do. When I was in high school, for example, at a Halloween party for our youth group, I was picked as one of the couples to be in the caramel apple eating contest. The adult leaders picked the two kids that they thought they could have the most fun pulling this prank on. Yep you guessed it; we were the couple that got the caramel onion! But what you wouldn’t have guessed is that I was all set to win this gig as soon as I was picked. My attitude was, if you are going to play, why not win, right? My partner didn’t think so and bailed after the first bite. I was a bit perturbed because I had to figure out how to win with these new obstacles: no partner and the ONION! Everyone was dying with laughter, and I think I may have won because of all the commotion at my end of the line distracted and stopped the other competitors from eating their real apples. . No one could believe I didn’t give up. I don’t remember if someone just held the onion or if my original partner came back once he realized we actually had a shot at winning. But it was a fun night. (I think they let me spit out the pieces … in case you are still back at the…“she ate an onion” part of the story).

We all make choices in life on how we will look at things. I loved roller coasters growing up, and that is how I looked that this experience as my life was on one huge roller coaster.  Deciding I was going to figure out a way to enjoy it was indeed a conscious choice I made, and continually made even as more and more of the obstructions were presented to me. I thought it would be cute to flip over this book and write it from a totally different perspective, with the title, Don’t Get Your Hopes Up. In it, I would describe the events without any positive spin. The problem, however, is that once you finished each account, YOU WOULD BE IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT, nothing would be different. The important question is do you want to endure or appreciate the ride. Even on a roller coaster, one minute I would be scared spitless; then, the next minute, I would be at the height of exhilaration and, like most of my last few years, hanging on for dear life.  But in all those moments, I’ve stood in awe and wonder at how such an amazing God could plan and orchestrate so many details, so far in advance.

So in saying all of that, this is my story. This is how I got through. Each person is unique. Each of us faces different trials and struggles. I’m glad I haven’t had to endure what others have, and I’m sure many are happy that they haven’t had to take my path. So I hope this book is an encouragement from a fellow traveler about the blessings and triumphs that can occur even when you feel the most beaten up. One day at a time may seem like an eternity, so, as a friend told me, you may have to break that down and take life into individual hours or even minutes. I still wonder if I can still remember to list all of the obstacles that crossed my path in the last five plus years. Each one could be pretty overwhelming alone. In fact, if an author included just half of them in a novel, readers would say they were beyond belief. I remember one time looking up and saying, “Okay bring it—game on”!  Or another time I was lying in the hospital, not being able to move, and thinking, “Well, I guess this just adds another zero to my speaking fees!” (I had always planned on doing public speaking; it would be quite a different story now motivating from a place of experience!) But the biggest blessing of all is that God was with me, at whatever depth I was experiencing—from extreme overwhelm to excruciating pain—giving me an incredible and indescribable sense of peace. When we read Paul’s words about knowing Christ and “the fellowship of his sufferings” (Philippians 3:10), we can easily skip over to something more pleasant. But anyone who looks at their “thing” as a gift can tell you the experience is like none other, and the only way to have it may be to go through a horrible or horrific experience. I can’t imagine my life if that day hadn’t happened. As much as I jokingly asked God for a do-over for that day, seeing what it did for me, on a serious note, I wouldn’t have given me a do over either!