Life Lessons from God

Chapter 3 – Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something we all want to receive, but it is sometimes so hard to give. Some hurts are easy to forgive, but others seem impossible. A wise Christian counselor explained to me that we usually find it relatively easy to forgive a sin that we think we might commit, but it is much harder to forgive a sin that we think we would never commit. As James 2:10 says, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.”
When we disobey a commandment, we violate the will of God. It is when deep, crushing hurts happen that it is beneficial to seek help to get through them. When a grievous sin occurs it is often by someone we loved and trusted, and that is why it hurts so much.
God does not instruct us to forgive others just to benefit those we forgive, but it is to release the bitterness and anger that can linger like an infected wound. Matthew 6:14-15 tells us, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
There is a condition involved as it states in Luke 17:3. “…If your brother sins, rebuke him, [strong expression of disapproval] and if he repents, forgive him.” So what does it mean for them to repent? According to the notes in the NIV Study Bible for Matthew 3:2, “Repentance is not merely a change of mind but a radical change in one’s life as a whole that especially involves forsaking sin and turning or returning to God.”
Luke 13:3 reads, “…But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” We cannot know if someone is truly repentant, because only God knows what is in a person’s heart. As 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 states, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.”
We need not worry if someone will receive the punishment they deserve or the rewards. The Bible tells us that vengeance is God’s. He can punish beyond what we can imagine and that punishment will be with an unrepentant sinner for eternity.
God especially cares about the little ones as the Bible says in Matthew 18:6, “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
Never doubt that God sees and God cares. In Revelation 7:17 we read, “For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”
God will wipe our tears away Himself, it will not be done by an angel or seraphim; God will touch us personally. He is our Abba Father, Daddy. Our God will punish those who do evil and reward those things we do to show love and honor for Him.
Perhaps the best way to learn forgiveness is to be forgiven or see forgiveness in action. When I was in second grade, we had a new teacher. When it was my turn to read, there were words that I could not pronounce correctly. I had been born with a tied tongue. One of the words I could not pronounce correctly was school, and when I read it, I pronounced it as stool.
The teacher assumed that because I was the youngest of three children that I was just lazy and didn’t try. She mimicked me and said, “So you go to stool, do you?” I was extremely embarrassed and did not say anything more. On the bus ride home that night, the other kids started to tease me. Before the teacher had mimicked me, they either hadn’t noticed my poor pronunciation skills or didn’t think to tease me.
I got off the bus at home in tears and told my mom that I never wanted to go back to school again. When I told her what happened, she immediately drove back to the school and confronted the teacher. The teacher was very sorry for what she had done. She cried and apologized, but the damage was done. I vowed never again to speak in front of anyone unless I had to or until I knew them and felt safe. I kept that vow until I was in my mid-thirties. (In chapter 6 - Self-worth and Confidence, I’ll tell you how God changed that.)
My family was very poor and we qualified to have free speech therapy at Indiana State University, but the 120 mile round trip was not possible with only one car for transportation. My mom bought phonics cards and most evenings we would work on repeating those hard sounds until my tongue could master them.
When we went to the monthly Parent/Teachers Association meeting, my mom found out this same teacher did not drive and always had to pay for a cab for her transportation. My mom offered to take her home after the meeting, and continued to drive her home every month.
There is a song that says, “I’d rather see a sermon than to hear one any day.” My mom’s loving and giving spirit was such a good example for me. My mom was also very self-conscious and went out of her way to make everyone feel welcome whenever possible.
My family probably had the smallest house of all of our family and friends, but she always invited anyone who wanted to attend any gathering they had. She always had a house full that spilled out into the yard, but she loved it. When we moved to Arizona, we lived in a 12 by 60 foot house trailer; but it was usually the gathering place for the holidays. My mom was also the perfect model for what hospitality should look like. She left a legacy for me and many others that will help guide us throughout our lives.
In John 4:6-26, Jesus spoke to a Samaritan woman at the well. The woman led an adulteress life and was out at noon during the heat of the day, probably to avoid the disapproving glances and whispers of her community. In the culture of that time, it was not even acceptable for a man to speak with a woman who was a stranger. Jesus lived by the law of love, not of culture. Even though Jesus knew of her adulteress affairs, he saw through those poor choices to the heart of a woman searching for love and meaning in life.
Jesus had lived a perfect life and had the right and authority to verbally berate her; but He did not. He cared about her and knew the Samaritan culture she came from lacked much of the information God had given to the Jews. She knew her peers were in debate about where they should worship. Jesus explained that where you worshiped God was not important. What did matter was that God should be worshiped in spirit and in truth in all our thoughts and actions.
The truly amazing part of Jesus’ interaction with this woman was that she was the first person He told He was the Messiah. In John 4:25-26, it reads, “The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus declared, “I who speak to you am he.”
Wow! If we had met her, we might have thought that we shouldn’t cast pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6). That is exactly why we should not judge others and decide if they are worthy of our time and efforts. God rewards our perseverance and it is He who will judge their hearts and if good fruit is produced by them.
When there is evidence people are not open or respectful to our sharing of God, it is then that we shake the dust off our feet and move on (Matthew 10:14). Possibly a seed you have planted will bare fruit when another waters it.