Truth Shall Set You Free

Introduction

I am not a medical professional. This story is not told in thorough medical terms; nor is it meant to be. From a layperson’s perspective, obsessive-compulsive disorder, abbreviated as OCD, is something that has gone awry in your life, evidenced by a relentless attack against your mind, followed by incessant unhealthy thinking, culminating in goofy, if not more-goofy-than-the-thoughts actions.

These thoughts and actions occur in a cycle that seems to repeat itself over and over and over again. After having done something goofy in response to an unhealthy thought, you find yourself wishing that you hadn’t reacted the way that you did. But somewhere later, you find yourself responding in a similar way again, just in a different setting with different circumstances. OCD is a terrible intruder that you want to go away; you want both the goofy thoughts and actions to stop, but for whatever reasons, you have a hard time getting rid of them.

Sometimes, these cycles are not limited to one specific arena. You might master one area of conflict just to find the OCD crop up in another. Or you might be dealing with OCD in a number of areas at the same time, and you realize that you are able to categorize them into their specific domains.

Others don’t understand why you say and do the things you do; what’s worse is that even you don’t understand your own behavior. As a result of unhealthy thinking and living, the person with OCD experiences consequent guilt, pain, rejection, confusion, and erosion of self-esteem. My experience of living with OCD was one of lingering pain. The degree of seriousness to which obsessive-compulsive disorder affected my life also had residual impact upon the lives of those around me. I am so much better than what I was years ago, but I still have a ways to go.

A story comes to my recollection. Years ago, Pastor Robert Vaughn told of an elephant that was tied to a stake. When he was released from the stake, he neglected to walk away from it. I believe that God has freed me from OCD, but it is a matter of me walking in the freedom with which I have been blessed. I don’t do it faultlessly, but I am way, way better than what I was!

It has involved me receiving truth, being transformed in my thinking, applying that new thinking, breaking habits—some of which existed for years—letting go, trusting God, staying in God’s Word, and resisting the devil and unhealthy living.

I have experienced a grieving in my life pertaining to the OCD, because there comes a time when you realize what you have lost. Much of my childhood lacked the carefree spirit that usually accompanies childhood. I was much too serious and worried. My best friend in high school once told me that if I didn’t have something to worry about I wouldn’t be normal. I realize my behavior affected my relationships with people in a negative way, particularly those with my children and first husband, who has passed on. Even though it was not intentional, you realize that damage was done and that you cannot go back and do it over. You’re sad for what you’ve lost and sad for what you’ve done.

A number of factors might have played into the development of OCD in my life, but there is one catalyst that I suspect played a prominent role for me, starting at an early age. It was a knowing of the existence of hell, knowing the possibility of me going there, and, more important, not knowing God’s plan of salvation for me through the shed blood of His precious Son, Jesus Christ.

Years ago, as an adult, I was lying in bed, and I heard the words “Truth shall set you free” or “Truth shall make you free” (or something similar). I actually heard words. The words may not have been audible to the physical ear; maybe the Holy Spirit was making them audible to my spirit man. I don’t know for sure how to explain it, but somehow, I heard words.

At first, I didn’t know what that truth was that was going to set me free. At that time, I don’t know if I even knew of the term OCD. In retrospect, I now know that that “truth” entailed the Word of God, Jesus Himself, and revealed truth regarding myself. Truth is truth. Whatever the truth was, that I was ignorant of, that I needed to correct faulty thinking, that was the truth I needed.

Sometimes, we suffer because of the fact that we don’t know pertinent information (Hosea 4:6).

What I am about to tell in the following pages of this book is how God delivered me from the bondage that I was in. I will tell about the personal God that I have come to know and the wonderful truths that He has revealed to me in His Word. It is my prayer that as you read the pages of this book, that God Himself, by the power of His Holy Spirit, will illumine your mind and heart so that you, too, can experience the freedom that I have found.