Marriage facts before, during, and beyond

Due to the lack of information on many of life’s issues, we as humans try to do the best we can with our given resources, we often draw from our own experience, family of origin, or words of advice. As we look at the topic of Marriage, the highest human relationship, much confusion and misinformation has occurred.
My friend has given me permission to share her story. She recalls; “late one afternoon around 4:50 p.m. my son-in-law John called, before I answered, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “have a gentle tone when you say hello”. On the other end I heard the desperateness and anxiety in his voice as he said, “Mom it’s me John. I’m sorry I called you at work, but I had to talk to somebody, she’s slipping away as the days pass, my wife doesn’t want to be married anymore” (though they had only been married for a year). Please pray he said I’ve got to do something.”
As my friend recalls, “I drove to a nearby park and sobbed. My eyes became open to the effect that divorce had had on my daughter. My daughter had married into a different culture; she however did not feel accepted, and wanted out of the marriage, believing that divorce was the answer. Though pregnant she believed she could manage on her own without the child’s father.” “This truly was the day I saw the effects of divorce on the next generation”.
Due to the fact that my friend had survived several divorces, her daughter incorporated the idea “if you don’t like it, get out.” My friend reports that through much prayer and wise counsel, her daughter’s attitude has changed and the marriage is progressing well.
There are a growing number of people that believe annulment, separation or divorce is the answer to marital problems; (although God has made an allowance for divorce on biblical

grounds which will be covered later) many have bought into Hollywood’s version of marriage “the Cinderella happy ever after,” theory. Claiming that all married people are not jointed together by God, and so they are free to divorce and marry the one God intended them to have. The fact is, God recognizes all legal marriages and will hold people responsible for their vows.
The problem in our society is that the marriage relationship is not taken seriously nor is marriage counseling and education valued or sought after, though it is the primal of all human relationships.
It is my hope to equip those in the helping professions, to educate both single and married individuals on God's original blue print for marriage and maintaining it. It is my prayer that you will learn what the scripture says on this subject and feel empowered to guide others toward the correct course of action in this critical area.

MARRIAGE THE HIGHEST HUMAN RELATIONSHIP – WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
Marriage is the state in which a husband and wife live together in a sexual relationship with the approval of their social group. The story of Adam and Eve describes the unique husband-wife relationship as “one flesh” Genesis 2:18 illustrates the intimate relationship between God and his people (Hosea 1-3) and between Christ and His church.
The most intimate of relationships among human beings is the husband-wife relationship, contrary to the belief of modern society placing the parent child relationship as the highest.

So, what does it mean to be married?
Definition: Marriage is the legal covenant union between a man and a woman who are wed in holy matrimony.
What makes the husband and wife relationship unique among human relationships? Many individuals do not realize that the husband and wife relationship is the highest human relationship, higher than the parent-child relationship, or sibling, family or friends.
It is the only relationship in which procreation can be made. No other human relationship can produce another human being. Think about that for a moment. Mankind was not the originator of marriage. The idea came from “God, God said in Genesis 2:18 .” It is not good that man should be alone; I will create a help meet for him so he caused a deep sleep to come upon man…….
God went on to say in Genesis 2:24 , therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh.
WHAT WAS GOD'S ORIGINAL PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE?
In the book strengthening your marriage, Author Wayne A. Mack says “as far as I know, there is only one statement about marriage that God includes four times in the Bible .
He makes it in Genesis 2:24 , Matthew 19:5 , Mark 10:7-8 and Ephesians 5:31 . The statement is, “for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
He makes it once in the Old Testament and three times in the New Testament. He makes it once before man fell into sin and three times after man fell into sin. This statement contains God's all-

time blue print for a good marriage. A good design or blue print is just as necessary for a successful marriage as it is in developing or building a project.
The problem we face today is taking the human relationship for granted. We somehow think there’s not much to making marriage work, as long as the emotional and sexual feelings are present. But when the difficult days emerge and the skies are overcast, and the in love feeling can’t be felt, a marriage not built on God's blue print won’t stand.
God's blue print design for marriage, instructs husbands and wives to leave their fathers and mothers, developing their own family.
What does it mean to leave your parents?
1. What it does not mean is to utterly abandon or forsake them. (observe exodus 20:12 , Mark 7:9-13 ; 1 Timothy 5:8 )
2. “Nor does it mean that you must make a great geographical move. Living too close to parents at the beginning of a marriage may make it more difficult to leave, but it is possible to leave your father and mother and still live next door. Conversely, it is possible to live a thousand miles away from your parents and not leave them. In fact, you may not have left your parents even though they are dead.”
• Leaving your parents means you choose to establish an adult relationship with them.
• It means you choose to consider your mates ideas, opinions and practices above those of your parents.
• It means that you choose not to be overly dependent on your parents counsel, affection, assistance and approval.
• It means you must choose to forgive the past mistakes of your parents; otherwise you will be emotionally still tied to them no matter how far you move away.
• It means you choose not to change your mate simply to please your parents.
Because you are establishing a new family, you want to be more concerned with becoming a good husband or wife versus still being concerned with being a good son or daughter, aunt or uncle, grandson and so forth.
If you are a parent you should understand that it is critical for emotional growth, that you prepare your children to leave and not stay, it will cripple them emotionally.
Many times when the so called “empty nest” syndrome occurs, parents have spent so much time investing in their relationship with their children that (husband and wife) don’t know each other.
It is important also to note that when your children marry, you must not try and control their lives. Instead, encourage your daughter, or son to depend upon their mate for guidance, help, affection and companionship.