Fear, Control, and Letting Go

I wrote this book as part of my lifelong work to establish a more intimate connection with the God who created me and who works daily in my life. I also wrote it to attempt to make sense of my environment and of the people who have been and are still in it. God does not move away from me, but I have often moved away from God or put something between us. In my profession as a psychologist, I have found that as we resolve our psychological issues we increase our potential to maximize the gifts of life and relationships which God has provided us. With these as our base, we grow as human beings and as spiritual beings. When I look back on my life, I see two main themes. One is my search for the God of my Being, and the other is the presence of fear in all its numerous variations and disguises. My fear has acted as a brake on my ability to connect with and to stay connected to God. My fear has taken the form of social inadequacy, of anxiety about speaking in groups, of worry about making mistakes, and in numerous other ways. My fear of writing, printing, and making public the contents of this book have brought most of the fear themes in my life to the forefront: including the fear of being criticized. Fear has retarded my psychological growth for decades. It may not be obvious to others, but I know it and so does God. . This book is completed because I decided--and God has continued to strengthen me in this decision--to live a life of faith rather than to exist in fear. This book is not perfect. Since its completion, I have thought of many changes I could make to improve it. Even as I wrote it, I knew it would not convey all of my best and most current thinking. I can criticize the book. Others can also criticize the book and me. But now, thanks be to God and to faith, I know I will be able to deal with criticism: not just survive it but to live on after it. I created my fear, and it wore me down like heavy chains thrown over my shoulders. God did not create the chains, I did. Because of God’s help, they are no longer on my shoulders. I pray faith will keep them off. While completing more than 50,000 hours of psychotherapy over 30 years with individuals, couples, and families, I realized that my fears and the themes in my life are not unique. I became aware that my path is a common one. It is a journey traveled by many. With God’s support, I am able to help people grow, throw off their burdens of fear, and move forward. With my patients’ help, I have also been able to learn and to progress. God gave me the people and the profession in which to develop. All I needed to do was to take advantage of the opportunities. I had to learn and practice ways to reduce my fear and increase my faith.