Butterflies in the Midst

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 (NASB)

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I am not exactly a mall girl. In fact, I have lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex for over ten years, and often people mention a mall that I have never visited. I would love to spend more time outdoors, but my allergies drag me into cocoons of filtered air. I am fascinated by the flowers, birds, animals, trees, and rocks. I find the intricacies of this planet which God created for us to do our training on. . . . amazing.

During my life, I have noticed butterflies, but only in a casual way. I own guidebooks for many, many things, but not butterflies. Butterflies were not something I have rushed to get the binoculars to see more clearly. I can’t explain these visits that have been happening the days, weeks, and now months stretching into years since our precious Jimmy died. Maybe the Lord is using butterflies specifically because I had no special interest in them before; before I had learned so many new things, things I previously had no interest in. I have learned that things I cannot imagine can happen. I have learned that one act, one decision, one split second decision, one word can end a life and change the lives of hundreds. I have learned that the broken glass of a tragedy scatters widely, showing up in unexpected places, inflicting hurt again and again and again.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human hearts; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

Make us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. Psalm 90:15 (NIV)

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We love our porches. We have big old-fashioned clay pots of flowers on the front and back porches. The summer of 2009, the zinnias were fabulous. Early in the summer, I kept noticing one large orange and black butterfly every time I looked out at the zinnias and other flowers. Typically in the early spring, we have many of the wispy small butterflies in the fresh grass. As the temperature rises, their sightings diminish. We occasionally have one or two of the large butterflies in the late spring, but when the heat of a Texas summer sets in, we no longer notice them.

The 2009 summer season was different. The one orange and black butterfly was literally on and around a group of flowerpots that I could see from various points inside the house every time I looked out. More surprisingly, when I went out to water and tend the plants, the butterfly stayed around very close to me. I found this odd. I had never had that experience, butterflies had always seemed shy and skitterish. I was never able to savor them. However, this one I could. He seemed to be comfortable with me nearby. I thanked the Lord. The Lord is the infinitely creative Artist Who provides an ever-changing display of His Majesty throughout the course of a day, the seasons, and around the globe.

I drank in this, unasked for pleasure.

My butterfly friend lingered deep into the Texas summer. While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. Genesis 8:22 (KJV)

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the House of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His Temple. Psalm 27:4 (NIV)

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July 22 came. Bob, Sarah, Peter and I believed it to be just another day in the course of our lives. We did what we planned to do. Early afternoon we began to think that something was askew, but we knew not what. We had no idea that by 6:30 p.m. news would come that would change our lives forever. News that we would never really recover from. News that our dear Jimmy was gone.

Shattered.

Shattered was his life

and our lives as well. For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His Dwelling; He will hide me in the Shelter of His Sacred Tent and set me high upon a Rock. Psalm 27:5 (NIV)

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Years ago, our friend Laurie made a beautiful stained glass Nativity for us. It has hung by our front door in our many homes. Our present house has a window above the door, so we hung the stained glass there. Sometimes I think of all the places it has been. It has zigzagged across the country. It has been across the Atlantic and back throughout our many moves. All the packing and jostling that stained glass has seen!

About a year and a half before Jimmy died, we went to church Sunday morning, as per our routine. When we returned, water was running out from under the doors. Inside the house we found numerous ‘water features, including water pouring through the ceiling fixtures. Besides the water, all the smoke alarms in the house were howling. As we were trying to figure out exactly what was going on, the stained glass Nativity fell,

shattered on the tile.

The wall above the front door had become so saturated with water that the anchors which held the glass in place no longer had anything of substance to hold onto. The anchors gave way, and down came our beautiful display of God’s presence and plan.