Within His Keeping

When we face the greatest adversity, how can we trust that God is in control? How do we open our eyes to see the big picture instead of focusing on our own pain? When our son was three, we found ourselves blessed with another child on the way. Early in the pregnancy, I had a scare when a small spotting of blood put me in bed for about a week. But that cleared up, and as the baby grew within me, my excitement over having another child grew too.

In the fourth month of my pregnancy, the doctor reported that he couldn’t hear a heartbeat. Ultrasounds were scheduled and great fear entered my heart. I felt doubt and questioned God. Why is this happening to us? I wondered. I’m so careful with my choices of food, about exercising, and about my overall health when I’m pregnant. I try to put the baby’s needs above my own desires. Why, God, is there no heartbeat?

The day for the ultrasound arrived. My anticipation grew as the obstetrician spread the jelly and placed the instrument across my abdomen. As I watched the screen with the nurse and the doctor, I felt joy as we saw the tiny body pumping. She was alive, but wait—why was her heartbeat so slow? A fetal heartbeat is usually much faster. My baby’s heartbeat mimicked my own heart’s pace. That explained the initial concern. The doctor thought he heard only the rhythm of my heartbeat when it was the baby’s after all. Something was dreadfully wrong and my hopes sank.

I dressed and tentatively entered the doctor’s office to hear the verdict. He explained that there was most likely a heart deformity and that the baby could possibly suffer congestive heart failure. The staff scheduled an ultrasound every month to watch the progress of the pregnancy. Instead of the normal monthly rotation of obstetricians, I was assigned to one physician who stayed well aware of the issues.

The months inched along. The ultrasounds determined over time that the baby was a little girl. She grew within the womb with seemingly no problems. I prayed, God, are you showing us that no matter the problems stated by the doctors that you can provide miracles? God, please make my baby strong and healthy. As the birth date drew near, our doctor arranged to deliver at Duke Medical Center. Its renowned neonatal center could handle any situation. He planned to perform a cesarean section to spare our little girl the stress of going through the birth canal. A date was set for January 21, 1985. We were to arrive at Duke at six that Monday morning.

That weekend brought unprecedented cold weather with ice and snow. The Monday morning weather report on the radio said North Carolina was seeing record-low temperatures. The wind chill factor placed the temperature at six below zero. As we crept through the icy streets, I reflected on recent Sunday school lessons. Isn’t it amazing how God orchestrates every detail of our lives? The book of Job filled my thoughts. Job was prosperous, with many children, much land, and abundant livestock. He was a rich man and lived faithfully before God. Satan held his life up before God with a challenge: if God didn’t bless Job so well, he would turn against God and would no longer serve Him. God allowed Satan to do anything he desired to Job except harm him. God wanted to show Satan that Job’s faith in Him would prevail.

“So Satan answered the Lord and said, ‘Does Job fear God for nothing? Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!’ And the Lord said to Satan, ‘Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand on his person’” (Job 1:9-12).

In one day, Satan took the lives of Job’s ten children, destroyed his livestock, and killed his servants. Job’s faith in God remained strong. Satan then asked God to allow him to attack Job’s health, claiming that Job would then curse God. God gave His permission but restrained Satan from taking Job’s life. Satan struck Job with painful boils from head to toe. Job suffered great pain and anguish. Satan used Job’s wife and friends to discourage Job by speaking against him and God. Job’s trust and assurance in God remained. God restored Job’s health and all his losses. In fact, He provided him with twice as much as he had before. He also gave Job ten more children. Job lived to see four more generations. “Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful” (James 5:11).

Could my faith in God hold firm through whatever might come? I was determined not to let Satan win no matter what happened. I prayed for endurance. I relied on the power of the Holy Spirit for strength. Little did I know at that moment how much I would need His power during the coming weeks!