First Love between the Bridegroom and His Bride

Are we willing to go with Jesus when He calls us to seclusion? Seclusion is a time of separation-a time of separating from people, places, and things. This precious calling is a time of being in a place of total dedication to Jesus Christ. Nothing else matters in this type of calling. This calling brings forth unity with our heavenly Bridegroom. Our heart beats with His and His heart beats with ours, as the precious Holy Spirit draws us into a longing for Jesus, the Lover of our Soul.

When I began to feel this longing, I thought God had left me. I cried, I sought Him more, I prayed more, and I even called friends for prayer, but still there was a huge void within my soul. As I read My All for Him by Basilea Schlink, my eyes began to open. One beautiful morning I went to the park to be alone with Jesus, and as I read this book I began to weep.

I realized at that moment that the Holy Spirit had not left me, but that He was calling me into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Jesus. As I wept, my heart became more and more empty, and suddenly I knew the Holy Spirit was making room in my heart to receive bridal love. My friends please know that bridal love won’t enter our heart until it is fully empty-utterly emptied, not only of family, people, and places; but also completely unoccupied with the things of this world. Bridal love requires all of our heart and nothing less.

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

Luke 14:26-28

I also realized that sharing in the suffering of Jesus is a part of receiving this bridal relationship. Philippians 3:10 says, “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” Jesus is our Bridegroom and we (the church) are His bride. A true bride must be willing to share not only in the joyful days of her bridegroom but also in the sad times of his sufferings. During the time of this revelation, I began to think of ways I could get away with my Bridegroom, Jesus-just the two of us.

I wanted to be alone with my precious Jesus so much that I gave up everything-my own dreams, and plans; I was now living one day at a time with my heavenly Bridegroom in total control of my life. My soul, body, and spirit was now longing for my wonderful Jesus more than I have ever longed for anyone or anything in my entire life.

My friends, you must know that I still don’t fully comprehend the depth of my Bridegroom’s love, but I know with every fiber of my being I want-no, need that bridal love. I can now relate to the song-writer Ray Repp when he says, “My Soul Is Longing for the Glory of You.”

Deep hunger for Jesus began to fill my entire being. I no longer desire to please others or to do anything unless it is out of love for my heavenly Bridegroom. Jesus has become the center of my life, and His opinion is all that matters to me. I felt His pain from time_to_time, and I also felt His happiness, His joy, and His peace. There were times when I burst into holy, uncontrollable laughter, as the peace of God filled my entire being. There were times when I burst into tears-as sorrow filled my entire being.

This peace and sorrow was not like anything in the ordinary world. This peace was the most overwhelming joy and happiness-a piece of heaven, I would call it. This sorrow He would allow me to feel was the most overwhelming distress, pain, suffering and disappointment all put together. My oldest son Jovane would sometimes look at me with such helplessness, as this sorrow comes over me. He would stare at me with such confusion when the holy laughter comes over my being.

I began to share in my heavenly Bridegroom suffering and His joy. Jesus was becoming real to me, but He still longs for me to be even closer to Him. As He longs for me, I too desire Him with every fiber of my being. The precious Holy Spirit had put in my soul a deep longing for my Master-Jesus.