The Conductor

A mother was walking through the fabric store with her six year old son the day after Christmas to pick up some items needed for a home improvement project. At the register tips in most stores, including this fabric store, are last minute items to purchase marketed to be “so enticing” to the consumer. Children are a part of that strategy to get consumers to purchase those items through their parents. On this day something had captured the eyes of this six year old. He wanted that item and he wanted it bad. It was alluring to him, but when his mother told him “No, I’m not buying that” he lost it in the store. The tantrum began with words, “You never buy me anything” and was followed with loud sobs and tears. Shopping along with this mother was her sister, interested in how she would handle this volatile situation. It brought on several questions to ponder: Who purchased all the gifts he’d received the day before, for Christmas? Why don’t retailers work with parents and not have those items at the checkout counter? We all have an opinion on that topic!!! Where are his things coming from, if his parents never buy him anything? How does a parent manage a situation like this? What can be done in advance to prevent or minimize such behavior?

Answers to these and similar questions of this type are what you will find in The Conductor. It is up to you to determine how things should best be handled based on the make-up of your family. Self-determination will be key component to your interaction with this book, because upon completion of this book it will be individualized speaking to best practices for you as a parent. There is no right or wrong answer; nor is there one best practice for raising all children. At times the answer may change from incident to incident based on the circumstances of the situation or even child to child. The use of consistent, concrete and caring strategies, I’ve titled The 3C’s, will support the parent in the child raising process. The 3C’s are defined as a tool to support the foundation parents need to support them in raising their child. The Conductor is designed for you to use as a leader, director, manager and guide for raising a child who at the time of birth did not come with instructions. During the time I spent as a young child under the leadership of my parents I observed how they managed parenthood. Once, I became a parent myself, I utilized some of their strategies along with a little of what I learned from others who also influenced my development and some of my own ideas. Together this was the foundation for me in guiding and directing my own children and those in my care. As years passed, I’ve gained additional information and began to advise others on child rearing. It’s important to consider the fact that there is no right or wrong way to parent, no one is a true expert or perfect at this. We all question ourselves, even those who look like they’ve got it together or are highly credentialed. I’m not sure where the African Proverbs evolve, nevertheless; “Omwana ni wa bhone” means that “regardless of a child’s biological parent(s) its upbringing belongs to the community” when translated. There is also that familiar African Proverb “it takes a village to raise a child.” Hence, it is not only the responsibility of the individual raising children in their homes to guide and direct them, as Christians we bare more accountability because of our knowledge of what the Lord expects of us. If, it is the desire of the people to live in a better society, we must work together this is clearly stated in Galatians 6:2 that we are to “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”. This can build families and support the needs of our most precious and valuable worldly possession, our children. The Conductor is to help inform each of us as responsible people looking after the health, safety, physical and emotional well-being of a child of any age; just by being open minded to any one strategy could benefit the nurturing and development of a child. Consider yourself the coach who is leading them in their transition from childhood to confident individuals on the pathway to becoming self-sufficient adults. Proverbs 22:6 is the biblical premise I considered when raising my own children, it simply states, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. Of course my hands on experience in raising children comes directly from my three sons and the two grandsons that spent some time during their early childhood years under my parental guidance. Yes, I’ve been in the role of a grandparent raising a grandchild twice by choice for a brief period. I didn’t have to do that and neither does anyone else. In this life there is only one thing we must do and that is die! God is so wonderful that He allows us to have free will, but we better be very careful with how we handle it. Consider how applying a little Christ can assist in the process of developing a willing soul, if taught. The Conductor’s compilation of various effective sources I used in building up my children included the Bible, to using mental health professionals, numerous observations, trials and slip-ups including so much more as noted in this book. There is no one way to rear a child, each child is unique, they could have the same parents and live under the same roof with the same household rules, but as their individual self, see and respond to the world totally different.