Searching

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Searching – Excerpt from Chapter One:
Pamela’s eyes were filled with tears, but she forced herself to keep driving. Why am I crying? She was so frustrated at the feelings she was experiencing, and it made her angry. She told herself she had nothing to worry about, and even if she did run into Wade, she could handle it. It would probably be a little awkward at first, she reasoned, but certainly they could overcome that. Nonetheless, her heart was pounding, and she couldn’t get his face out of her mind.
Driving mindlessly, Pam found herself heading out of town into the countryside until she came to an overlook that had been built by the city’s founders many years before. It was a quiet park with a beautiful view of the town of Taylor’s Crossing. She parked her car and leaned her head forward, resting against her hands on the steering wheel, and silently began to pray.
Dear God, why now? Just when I am getting on my feet again? I loved Wade so much, and he rejected me for no reason. Though I don’t understand why, I know you do … so please give me strength to accept his decision and move on.
Pam was glad Dr. Gray had forewarned her about Wade’s visit, but she truly felt it was in God’s hands now. Although Wade had caused her immeasurable grief, heartache, and humiliation, she couldn’t be mad at him. Was she hurt, confused, and angry? Of course. She had worked her way through all these emotions during the past two years, but deep in her heart, she knew there had to be a reason for Wade’s behavior. Surprisingly, she still trusted Wade that much.
She got out of her car, breathing deeply of the warm, summer air, redolent with the lemony scent of magnolia blossoms. A soft breeze touched her face, drying the last of her tears, and she just had to smile as she looked up at the sky, sensing God’s nearness. She took a few steps to the edge of the overlook and placed her elbows on the railing, letting her eyes explore the view from one side to the other. As far back as Pam could remember, she had come to this spot when she was troubled and needed to pray or simply to think. Somehow its beauty gave her inner strength and restored her sense of belonging, her sense of who she was and what she believed in.
She was totally absorbed in the stillness of the moment when a car pulled into the gravel driveway just behind her. A peculiar awareness suddenly overcame her, and deep within her being, she knew it was Wade Franklin. She looked up at the sky and wondered whether God had brought her here today for just this purpose. When she heard footsteps approaching, she slowly turned around, knowing she wouldn’t have to face Wade alone.
When she saw his face break into a grin, something melted inside her and she knew they were still friends.
“Hello, Pamela!” Wade paused, trying to decide what to say next. “I was driving by, and when I saw you standing here, I just had to stop. I hope I’m not interrupting … I just wanted to say hello.”
In spite of herself, Pamela smiled back at him. “Hello, Wade. This is a surprise. I just heard this morning that you were in town.” They moved toward each other, and it seemed only natural to embrace just for a moment.
Wade smiled as he reached for her hand. “Pam, it’s really great to see you.”
Still holding her hand, Wade felt time stand still, and all he could do was admire the beautiful woman before him. Pam’s shoulder-length chestnut hair was just as he remembered it, glistening in the afternoon sun. Pamela Palmer had grown up. When he last saw her, she was a very pretty college girl, but today she was the epitome of a young urban professional who appeared to have everything going for her.
Wade realized he was staring, and in a rush of words, he attempted to explain why he was here. “I got into town a couple of days ago but haven’t had much free time, I’m afraid. I had to take care of some family business and visit with Jeannie. I suppose you heard about the fire out at Dad’s place.”
“Yes, of course, and I’m so sorry.” Pamela withdrew her hand, but still felt the warmth of Wade’s fingers on her own.
“Jeannie tells me you’re running the paper now.” Wade smiled as he visualized Pam doing what she loved most. “That must be quite a challenge.”
“Yes, it is. Sometimes it can be a rat race, but I really enjoy it.”
Appraising her from head to toe, Wade laughed and said, “I’m glad. I can see that it agrees with you.” Suddenly self-conscious, he put both hands in his pockets and smiled at her.
Pamela looked up at him for a moment without saying a word. With a serious look on her face, she expressed her uppermost thought. “Will you be staying long?”
“That’s hard to say, but I would like to spend some time with you, Pam, and hopefully mend some fences.” He looked down, kicked some gravel with the toe of one shoe, and looked up. “How about it, Pam? I know I have some explaining to do, and I’d like for us to spend some time catching up, if you’re willing to give me another chance.” Without taking his eyes from her face, Wade raised his eyebrows questioningly.
Pam’s heart was pounding. She had dreamed of this for so long. Now she looked straight into his eyes and realized the magnetism that had always existed between them was as alive as ever. “I do have a lot of questions, Wade, but aside from that, we’ve been friends a long time. So my answer is yes. I would like to see you again.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that, Pam. I don’t mean to seem overanxious, but would you like to go for coffee tomorrow morning, say around nine o’clock? I could come by your office and pick you up, or we could meet at the coffee shop on Main.”
Pamela felt a soft smile on her lips as she warmed to the idea of spending time with Wade. “Why don’t I meet you at the coffee shop? I have an early meeting at the chamber, and I can drop by as I return to my office.”
“Wonderful!” Wade smiled and visibly relaxed. He couldn’t take his eyes off her but knew he had to leave. “Well, Jeannie’s waiting, so I better get going. I look forward to seeing you again, Pam.”
“Me too.” Pam took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, suddenly realizing how weak she had become.
Wade turned and took a few steps. Then he looked back and lifted his hand to her. They smiled, and the connection that had always been there was strengthened in that instant. They both felt it. For Pam, it felt as though a lopsided world was somehow being repositioned on its axis. The trees were greener, the sky was bluer, and Pamela was once again amazed at God’s goodness and faithfulness. She had no idea where her relationship with Wade would go from here, but she was sure of one thing.
The Lord of all creation had brought them together today, and she knew that in all the days ahead, she and Wade would be held securely in the Father’s hand.