Smile! Even If Your Life Is Upside Down

My Shepherd’s Protection Christmas, like my mom, was gone. I felt myself wearing down. The exhaustion and sadness was overwhelming; between all the chores I had to do at the farm, the terror of facing the farm owner, and feeling different—being the “weird” kid at school—I didn’t know how I would continue to cope. I felt as if my mom was gone forever. One day, an old woman knocked at our door and asked for a drink of water. As I handed her the glass, she asked me if I had seen a young man because she was looking for her son. I don’t remember how it happened, but the woman ended up staying and taking care of us. She cooked our food, helped me with my chores around the farm, and stayed with William while I was at school. After dinner, she would tell us Bible stories, and she would tell us again and again that Jesus loved me and William and that He was always with us. I never saw our benefactress sleeping; she seemed to disappear at night. I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night looking for her, but I could never find her anywhere inside the house. When I would wake up in the morning, she’d have finished my farm chores and breakfast would be ready for us. She was like a mom from heaven. Even more amazingly than all of that, the farm owner miraculously stopped coming to the farm once the old woman started to stay with us. Strangely, this friend from heaven never told us her name. Still, I am certain that she was the reason William and I survived at the farm. Our mysterious surrogate mother taught me to trust in God. Whenever I would tell her that I was scared, she would tell me in her gentle, soft voice, “Don’t be afraid. I am with you always.” The soft sound of her voice was like the Holy Spirit speaking to me. It gave me comfort and peace. I felt that this was my first encounter with God. The old woman assured us every day how much God loved us. She told us that God loved all children and protected them from anything. Somehow, I felt a sort of closeness to God. To me, my shepherd’s presence was very real during that period that we lived at the farm. It was in March, summertime in the Philippines, when I first saw Mom again. William and I were sitting by the window, daydreaming as usual about the impending return of our mother, when we both noticed a woman approaching the house from a distance. The woman was carrying a suitcase, and she walked just like my mom. As she got closer, we recognized her, and sure enough, it was Mom. We ran to greet her and, full of excitement, threw ourselves at her, hugging and kissing her. William and I were so happy that our wish had come true. As we entered the house, William and I excitedly told Mom about the old woman who was taking care of us. I looked everywhere for our gentle friend so that we could introduce her to Mom, but she was nowhere to be found. My mom gave us a strange look, as if we were crazy and making up stories. William and I met each other’s gazes, and a sadness fell over us both. We quietly asked each other where our friend had gone. Why, we wondered, had she left without saying good-bye? For a while, we worried that something bad had befallen the old woman. But we never heard from her again. Her unexplained and sudden disappearance led William and I to believe that she was an angel. The next day, I went to school with my mom and William. As we were walking, I told mom about the snake that had stared at me. She said that she was happy the snake hadn’t bitten me and agreed that God had been watching over me. When we get to school, I proudly introduced my mom to my teacher and the class. My mom seemed happy that I had a nice teacher who seemed to care about me a great deal. As my mom and teacher talked, I showed William some of my schoolwork; he seemed to be curious about all the “school stuff.” I read him my favorite book, Cinderella. Before we went home, my mom took some pictures of me with my classmates and teacher. I noticed that my classmates were happy for me, and I saw my teacher smile with teary eyes. She seemed so happy for me when I shared with her that we would be moving to Manila as soon as the school year was over, as my mom had found a job as a housemaid and had a nice boss who was allowing her to bring us with her. I was so happy when we left the farm without seeing the farm owner. I had feared that he would interfere and cause troubles that would stop us from moving to Manila. When we arrived in Manila, Mom told me that she lived with and worked as a housekeeper for a social worker and that her boss wanted to help her place William and me in an orphanage. I was terrified and utterly disappointed. I had believed that Mom had come to get us so we could be together as a family. Mom explained that we would be better off staying in the orphanage because we would be able to go to school and would have a permanent place to live. She told me that our education was more important to her than anything else.