BACK TO THE GARDEN
Growing in Spiritual Intimacy through Prayer with Your Spouse
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Introduction
Our Invitation and Basic Information
We invite the two of youChristians united in marriage, who both have a desire to develop spiritual intimacy with your mate through prayer with and for one anotherto take the journey presented in this manual. Because it is in a workbook format with pages that need to be completed and notes that you may want to jot in the margins, each of you will need a copy.
It is possible for couples to use this book effectively on their own, if both individuals are very motivated and disciplined about their use of time without the need for outside accountability. However, we have not seen any couples, other than ourselves, follow through in using this book outside of a group where there is accountability and support. (See Appendix 3 for couples prayer group suggestions.)
The exercises themselves take about one to two uninterrupted hours per week, not counting preparation time. However, the times vary according to individuals and specific exercises. If you are participating in a group, factor in additional time to meet once per week for twelve weeks.
We hope that the experience of using this book of graduated prayer exercises will be so positive emotionally and spiritually that you and your spouse will want to continue this form of intimate prayer on your own.
Our Premise
We believe there is scriptural evidence to support our position that God, who created marriage, yearns for married couples to walk and talk with Him together, intimately relating to Him and each other. The garden of Eden in the book of Genesis is the place where God revealed His original plan for marriage, and it is the place to return to as the model of God’s desire for couples.
The Song of Solomon is a picture of the intimacy and joy that God ordained for marriage between man and woman, as well as a picture of God’s desire for intimacy and joy with us. In addition, 1 Corinthians 7:5 speaks of married couples abstaining from physical intimacy so that there can be a time for prayer. We believe that a married couple’s prayer life can and should be as intimate as their physical relationship. It is even more vital to their marriage if God is to be the Lord of His creation. Intimate couple prayer, as presented in this book, is about coming together with your spouse in private to pray with and for each other, encountering your Creator as He participates with you, and growing in health and wholeness and holiness as a couple.
Matthew 18:20 is an invitation to join together with Jesus in prayer, the medium of intimacy that he knew best. Jesus did not need to experience the physical intimacy reserved by God for marriage in order to know the bounds of true intimacy. He risked complete vulnerability with his Father because he was secure in his relationship with Him. He sought time alone with his Father and established a communion so complete and deep that it would sustain him in Gethsemane, on the cross, and in hell itself.
Noticing this intimacy that Jesus had with his Father, Jesus’ disciples asked him how to pray. He then gave them a format that could draw them into the same intimacy he shared with his heavenly Father, who was also their Fatherand ours. This model prayer is our template for this book, broken down into exercises designed to take you and your spouse into deeper and deeper levels of prayer intimacy, with and for each other. The ultimate aim of the exercises is to take you on a journey back to the garden of Eden, where there are only the two of you and God, your Creator. In that place, through open and fearless three-way communion, you experience divine love poured out over you by your mate and by your doting Father God, just as Adam and Eve did before they broke off that communion through disobedience.
Your marriage and physical union entails a spiritual union (Malachi 2:15; 1 Corinthians 6:16b–17), and prayer is the way to take your spiritual union to the throne room of your Creator God to give and receive blessings that cannot be had any other way. Praying intimately with your mate builds up the emotional and spiritual bonds needed to establish, heal, and keep your marriage vital and strong.
From our experience, one of the greatest gifts that spouses can give each other is to come together to transparently pray. Together they place their needs and desires, joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, strengths and weaknesses into the hands of Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can think to ask or even imagine, simply because He loves us and our marriages more than we can ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:17–21). Chapter 1
Purpose for the Journey: Spiritual Intimacy with Each Other and God
God was the original definer of intimacy in the book of Genesis. He created man and woman for physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy, naked before and transparent with one another. He established His intimacy with Adam and Eve by walking and talking with them in His garden, where they were both naked before Him. He created them in an environment where fear of intimacy was not a concept, because they were abiding in His love, a place where fear could not dwell.
They began their journey living in perfect communion and harmony, united without the emotional and spiritual barriers of guilt, fear, and shame. However, they also began that journey with free will, and they were quickly put to the test of obeying their Creator. When Adam and Eve freely chose to obtain the knowledge of good and evil, they lost their innocence. Guilt, fear, and shame entered into their relationship with God and each other.
God did not run or hide from Adam and Eve, but they tried to hide from Him and from each other out of fear,
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Are the two of you missing out on all that God desires for your marriage? What did Adam and Eve originally have with each other and with God that is worth reclaiming? In Eden, that birthplace of marriage, God created us for physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy, and created marriage as the most intimate of all human relationships. How is it that physical intimacy can seem relatively easy while spiritual and even emotional intimacy seem so hard? How can we get back to God’s garden, where we join with our mates, communing with God in His original design for intimacy with Him? Researched, written, and tested by a Christian couple, this workbook addresses the tough issues that can block deep emotional and spiritual intimacy and sets the stage for the journey toward spiritual intimacy with your mate. Through prayer exercises designed to take you both back to Eden, you and your spouse can regain what was first lost there—enjoyment of God and each other in His holy presence, where it is safe to be transparent and unashamed.
About the Author
Jan and Wayne have published in their respective professions of social work and sociology. Jan has coauthored church ministry programs for children of divorce and has done freelance writing. Wayne is currently writing a book summarizing forty years of research on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. They reside in Buena Vista, Colorado.