The In-Between

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

The Lord says He can turn bad around for good. I will never forget the day I screamed out to the Lord Jesus Christ, on the
7th of March, 2010, at C3 in Bowral.
Although I had been going to this church for about six weeks, nothing had really changed in me. I was still thinking, “I don’t want to live anymore.” I needed deliverance.
On this particular day, I deliberately sat in the back. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was seeking God so much that it didn’t matter what any person had to say. I wanted to speak to God and God only.
I was a mess as soon as the sermon started – there was something different about this day. There was a thick presence of God in the room.
The pastor was preaching when the assistant pastor, Ian, had a word from the Lord. The pastor handed him the microphone, and then Ian said, “There is someone in this room – and you need to call out to the Lord and you need to do it now! The Lord wants to deliver you and bless you.” It was God speaking straight to me through him.
He said, “You don’t want to miss your blessing.”
So I called out to Jesus, “I need you, Jesus!”
I got louder and louder. Everyone in the church put their heads down, with tears streaming down their faces. I really felt that God interrupted the whole church service just for me.
I was so blessed to be in a church where our pastors are Spirit-led. God was able to do His work through me.
On the last scream, Jesus appeared right in front of me. There are no words to describe the feeling but – Holy is our God! He told me everything was going to be okay.
A lady named Jenny climbed over the seats and sat right next to me. She rubbed my leg and said, “Just keep thanking Jesus.” If she hadn’t come over, I think I would have run down the back steps. It was all so intense.
I had this amazing power – the Holy Spirit – come over me.” I was so full of energy and life again – it was like being born again!
Clean slate, fresh start – it was like everything that had happened in my life before this moment didn’t matter. It was truly a new beginning!
I knew I needed to make some changes. I needed to throw away my phone and cut off everyone in my life, so I did.
When I arrived home, Mum packed up Nathan and Beau and told me they would stay with her for a little while. It’s like Jesus was taking care of everything for me. I couldn’t talk. Something wonderful was happening to me. Jesus needed to do a work in me on His own.
Pastor Jackie dropped off some worship music. She said she had never seen anything like this before and didn’t want to get in the road of God. She told me to keep worshipping and praying. Then she left.
I played the CD’s and worshipped God day and night. I didn’t leave my house. I thought it had only been a couple of days, but when Mum came over to drop off some shopping, she told me it had been a week! Jesus was doing so much in me, and being in His presence made time seem meaningless. He has all the time in the world.
My mum was so good – she never stayed or talked. She just left me in the hands of Jesus.
The next week, Pastor Jackie and I started catching up, and she would worship and pray continuously with me. I was going to church plus a women’s group ran by an amazing women of God, Jenny Grey (the same woman that had comforted me on that day). She has since gone home to be with the Lord. Jenny would always say to me every day is precious.
I also attended a young adults group every Monday night. Come to think of it, all I wanted to do was be in the house of the Lord. I still do – there is no place I would rather be.
It was strange. I could only really stand to be around Pastor Jackie. We are so spiritually connected. I had never felt a connection with someone like that before. I knew I could trust her and tell her anything, and no matter what she would not pass judgment, but just love me and accept me just the way I was.
Another huge love and support in my life is Pastor Ian (the pastor who led me to Jesus) and his wife Ros, who have been a big part in my Christian walk. They look after me always, leading and guiding me on the right path.
One day after church Ian was so excited about what God was doing in my life. He went home and told his daughter, “There is a young girl named Marnie in Church and she has had an encounter with God!”
His daughter replied, “It wouldn’t be the Marnie I know – she would never be in church!”
Later I was to find out she was in the cubical next to me when I had the fight I was telling you about earlier. She was terrified! I was the last person anybody would have thought would be in Church.
Praise God!