Embracing Love

From Chapter 2 The Emotional Wall Part I: Fear, Pride, Control, and Self-Righteousness

Lastly, fear keeps us living in denial. Instead of willingly dealing with our pain and past wounds, we hide from the reality of our own heart. In fact, all of us will hide in some form or fashion. If we open our eyes and look— really look—at the world around us, we are able to see many people hiding. We see parents hiding from their children when they are too wrapped up in themselves but don’t even know it. We see spouses hiding from intimacy when they would rather “be right” than to admit their own insecurity. We see executives hiding from failure so they manipulate others in order to remain in power.

We see teenagers hiding in fear of not being loved when they go to the extreme to receive any kind of affection before the silence of night befalls them. We see people hiding from loved ones when they can’t admit their darkest, shameful hours of pain, because now they will need to give up the façade that they have spent years creating. We see many rich people hiding in their spiritual poverty. We see many poor people hiding in their quest to become rich. We see the majority of the middle class hiding in their discontentment. We see many doctors, pastors, nurses, teachers, and yes, even counselors hiding from each other. The helping field can be a silent wasteland of suffering because we don’t want to admit that we need help ourselves. Hiding is the ultimate addiction of fear.

We hide in busyness, reputations, materialism, and denial. We hide in power, insecurity, inability, and inferiority. We hide in theology, divisions, self-righteousness, and hatred. We hide in loss, grief, pain, and denial. We hide in entitlements, ingenuity, indifference, and intolerance. We hide in anything that will give us comfort, worth, allegiance, or affection. We are all hiding—the where we are hiding is the ultimate question. In hiding, we will continue to live in our most dreaded fear—being and feeling alone.

From Chapter 8 Story: Discovering Our Beautiful and Sacred Story

From the difficulties of disabilities as a child to the loving hug of a mother, from the abandonment of a father to the timeless tears of a friend, from being abused and betrayed to being rescued and restored, from living on the streets to living in a loving home – each detail is sovereignly placed. Each detail has meaning way beyond the specific event at that time. For instance, a woman painfully abused as a child grows up to become a foster mother for abused children. This abuse through the lens of time now has deeper meaning though in the past it was very confusing and demeaning. Or a boy’s father dies in a car accident but now as a man he mentor’s a boy whose father is dying of cancer. In each situation, the narrative of these events gives deeper meaning into the present when they are framed through the lens of a structured story.

In framing our stories, we understand that every tear we have ever cried, every joy we have ever experienced, every loss we grieve over was purposely placed in our stories so that we will discover the loving grace of God (Psalm 56:8, NIV). God uses all these events to move us into a greater story. Sometimes he uses joy and other times he uses pain. However, each of our lives is built into a greater purpose of his ultimate redemption (Genesis 50:20, NIV). God has written the chapters and now he desire for us to write the words and discover our sacred story as journey to discover his greater story. When we are able to do this, we discover an incredible story God wrote in the heavens before one sunset had ever come to pass on this earth (Psalm 139:14-16, Genesis 45:7, NIV).

From Chapter 19 Reconciliation and Rebuilding Trust: The Hard and Hallowed Path

Sometimes you must lose to win. And when you are in a battle that cannot be won in the moment, you can wave the white flag knowing your conscience and spirit is the only thing that matters in the darkness of the night. If you can lay your head down on the pillow of contentment, and fall asleep in joy of service to the truth, and allow the breeze of His Spirit soothe your soul, then you have really, really won. Because those who manipulate the truth chain themselves to the prison of deception, lie on the cold floor of cover up and have insomnia to being exposed, while living in the illusion of freedom. For truth will set you free in the moment and eventually truth will be uncovered in the end. So for those who are wrestling, rest in the truth.