The Blue Sky in the Heart

When I was about eighteen months old Father was out of town on a military mission, and Mother was left home alone to take care of three children under the age of six. My sister was five and my brother was three. Caring for three little ones without any help proved too much for Mother to handle. One day an unthinkable life altering disaster happened. It left me with a lifetime of physical impairments and burdened Mother with the feeling of inescapable guilt.

According to my father this is what happened on that horrible day, even though he wasn't there at the time. Mother was cooking on a kerosene stove. I was walking around and playing in the house, Somehow I got too close to the stove where Mother was cooking and lost my balance. The stove was tipped over and before Mother could pull me away from danger, I was on fire. The flame engulfed my face and severely burned my left hand and left foot. My right thumb and right shin were also touched by fire. In a matter of seconds my life was almost destroyed. Mother’s left arm was burned as well when she grabbed me to safety.

That was the story Father told for the record. He was usually the spokesman for the accident. Mother always avoided the subject. I didn't want to bring up the forbidden past to cause Mother more pain. The truth would not be told by Mother until almost fifty years later.

Right after the accident I was rushed to the nearby air force hospital with my life hanging in the balance. I remember Father later explained to my first grade teacher Ms. Wu, “The doctor said her chance of survival was very slim. But my little fighter survived. However, the hospital did a terrible job of restoring her physical damages. Some of her conditions are actually the results of their poor care.”