To Love is To Help
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Love, indeed, is a many-splendored thing, but because of the many ways we use the word and the many different meanings we attach to it love easily becomes a many-splintered thing. It’s a word we make do double duty. Poets and song writers have a field day with it; theologians and philosophers ponder its various meanings. We use love when adore, desire, crave, enjoy, or like would seem more appropriate. When a word can mean so many different things, it can come to mean nothing at all. Whatever the object of our love feelings, we want it in our lives and in our altruistic better moments we want to share it with others. Although love is a familiar part of our vocabulary, what we mean when we use the word is not always clear. Obviously, “I love pizza” conveys a different meaning than does “I Love God.” Why humans profess such great need and desire for love has been the subject of much speculative writing. From these efforts two descriptive aspects of love have been identified. First, love involves more or less empathy with the loved one. Second, the one who loves manifests an active desire to enhance the well-being, happiness, and psychological growth of the beloved. The empathy expressed by a lover for another implies a commitment to help the other. If love for another does not mean a commitment to help, what could it mean? This book will discuss the subject of love in its most eclectic sense, using the single word love and its accompanying commitment to help. To love is to help.
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About the Book
How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what love is? Although love is a familiar, often-used word, what we mean when we use it is not always clear. Obviously, “I love pizza” conveys a different feeling than does “I love God.” This book views love as an action, as something we do. It is more than an emotion—it is the only human sentiment that is completely expressed in positive concern for the welfare of others. Four kinds of love are differentiated: these are eros, the language of romance; storge, family or parental love; philia, brotherly love; and agape, the love of and for God. Unfortunately, the English language uses only one word to describe all four kinds.
Two descriptive aspects of love’s relation to helping have evolved. First, love involves more or less sympathy with the loved one. Second, the one who loves manifests a desire to enhance the well-being and psychological growth of the beloved.
Love has been more widely researched and written about than has helping. Love as a helping relationship has received even less attention. This book views love and helping as being synonymous. The first two chapters discuss the nature of human behavior and the purpose of our lives—i.e., God’s plan for our lives. The next two chapters examine the nature of helping relationships, and the joy and benefits of helping others. Also discussed are helping in secret, helping others grieve, why we don’t help others in need, and choosing our destiny.
About the Author
Russ Holloman received his PhD in psychology and management from the University of Washington. He has authored two books and numerous journal articles. Dr. Holloman is a certified lay speaker in the United Methodist Church. He also maintained a private practice of psychotherapy for twenty-four years.