The Promised Land
How Doing Your Homework in Your Wilderness Leads to Healthy, Lasting Relationships
by
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HOW TO MAKE IT WHEN THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE DON'T LOVE YOU
The second shock came after the first few visits. After pouring out our whole family history and what was currently happening within my marriage, and now separation, I threw out THE BIG QUESTION: “How do you make it in life when the most important people in your life don't love you?” “You can not only make it, but you can thrive,” John quietly answered. “How is that possible”, I implored. John answered me with a question of his own. “Do you know what the greatest commandment is?” I had not been reading the Bible very long, but had been spending time in the Gospels and Psalms quite a bit, so I told him, “I've been reading in the Gospels and I don't know why they tell the same story four times, but isn't it something like, love God with all your heart, mind, and soul?” “Correct”, he replied, “and what is the second greatest Commandment?” “Isn't it love your neighbor as yourself”, I responded. “Correct again”, he replied. “You see, in those two commandments, four relationships are discussed. Two are vertical and two are horizontal. First, God loves you ↓. Secondly, you love God ↑. Third, you love yourself ←. Fourth, you love your neighbor as yourself →. Nowhere in there does it say that your neighbor loves you back.” “What!!” I said in shock... “Nor your husband, nor your mother, nor your father”, John replied. “What!! How can that be? Don't you have to be loved?” I responded. “Yes”, he replied, but here is love, God loves you first ↓, you love Him back ↑, you love yourself ←, and with the overflow of the love God has given you, that is what you love your neighbor with... whether or not they ever love you back, whether it be your “neighbor” or your husband, or your mother, or your father.” “Are you telling me that a person can make it without the most important people in life ever loving them?” I implored. “Once again, YES, and not only make it, but thrive,” John replied. I thought about it a few minutes and then said, “You know, I've been mad at my mother all my life and I guess the thing that made me so angry was that she would not ever show any love. Yet, her mother hated her, and her stepfather tried to rape her, and her dad wasn't around either.... How can I be mad at someone for not giving me something they, themselves never received either?!!!” In that moment, I was able to forgive my mother. “If God loves us first, how does He show us that He loves us?” I asked John. “Why don't you ask Him to show you”, John replied. “Oh no,” I responded. “I'd be too afraid to ask. My mother told me I had given up ever getting my own father's attention by the time I was three. I don't remember any of that, but I do know that I always longed to just one time sit in his lap and for him to say he loved me, but I knew not to ask because I knew what the answer would be and I couldn't handle it. My sister, Julia was his favorite and I never saw her in his lap, so what chance did I have. No, I can't ask because I'm just too afraid of rejection.” “I want you to think about it and think about asking Him, and later we'll talk again.” A few weeks later during a Sunday sermon, the pastor stopped preaching and suddenly hollered out, “How many of you love Jesus, raise your hands?!” Everyone was waving their hands high but I was just barely raising my hand to wave. When I got home that day, I got down on the floor and just cried out to God. “Lord, I love You the best I know how, but I'm not sure if I even know how to love. If it is possible, is there a way that you could show me in a personal way that You love me? I know You spread Your arms wide and died for all of us, but in those Gospels... and I still don't know why You told the same story four times, wasn't there this guy who referred to himself as the disciple whom You loved? Somehow he knew in a personal way that You loved him. Is there any way that could be possible for me?” I got up off the floor and then thought - “You fool, who do you think you are asking God for something like that.” I forgot about it and went to work that night at the Post Office, but God didn't forget. About 4:00AM, I went into the break room and was taking my “lunch” break and was reading in the Psalms. When I came out, I walked up to the machines to take my turn to run the mail using the schemes I had previously learned. I started to sit down, but these words starting flowing through my mind, and I literally had to shut the machine down to take dictation.
DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL
I came before my Father's throne I pity you My little one One eve when I was down. And, Yes, I know your frame. And this my observation was... That dust you are and dust you'll be Lord, You're nowhere to be found. And yet you love My Name.
I finally tired of fretting so Your life is like a vapor mist My head I did then nod. A trail that tags along, For I heard a voice so softly say But when the wind blows down on it Be still, and know I'm God. It disappears, it's gone.
I cried, Dear Lord, from up above But listen to Me, little one Oh please, look down on me. My child, I say to you, Sin and strife have made me but My love and mercy know no bounds, A black sheep in the Family. They're everlasting true.
For just one day if in Your arms Unto this world be not conformed That You would let me curl. My child you must believe, If just this once that I could know But through renewing of your mind I'm “Daddy's” little girl. Be transformed unto Me.
And suddenly there was an urge Oh, I may not don the eldest spot And a Voice that spoke to me, Nor was I born the youngest tot, Open up the Book, my child But when my soul on high was bought To Psalm of David, 103. Just look what I got.
You see, My child, I have not dealt Oh the peace of knowing there's a home The penalty that's due. Of knowing I won't go it alone, As the heaven is high above the earth Of knowing “Dad” is always there So is My love for you. His Son for whom my sins to bear.
As far as the East is from the West Of knowing that my prayer's He'll hear That's where My mercy lies. And knowing that He'll always care... Thy sin and strife have been removed That irritations bear a pearl The blood of My Son applies. I'm “Daddy's” little girl!
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About the Book
How do you persevere when life seems hopeless and you feel so helpless? Where does faith fit in? How do you find meaning and purpose in life when the most important people in your life are not there? How do you overcome years of depression? What can you do to be successful in marriage when only failure has been modeled before you? These questions and their answers are the starting points to healing from past damaging relationships and entering into a life of emotional strength and spiritual boldness. In the Old Testament, God called His people to a land that was filled with milk and honey. It was called the Promised Land. Similarly, He calls each believer today to a place of rest and abundant living. This book—made possible by combining decades of personal struggle, spiritual counseling, personal Bible study, and a psychology background—can be your pathway to the fullest and happiest days of your life as well.
About the Author
Susan Sperling Brock is the author of the poem “Daddy’s Little Girl,” as well as two songs, “His Marvelous Grace” and “The Promised Land.” She has also authored the short story “The Most Important Occupation in the World.” This is Susan’s first book. She has over thirty years of experience in teaching Sunday school, and she has a bachelor of psychology and a master’s degree in public administration. She is currently the director of a small deaf ministry in her church in Jacksonville, Texas, and she and her husband, David, are co-facilitators for Divorce Care, a thirteen-week video care-group series, also led out of their local church.