A Counterfeit Veil
Moving Beyond the Spiritual Wounds of Sexual Abuse
by
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For you: a brave woman defying the odds and daring to embrace grace.
You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
—2 Corinthians 3:2–3 (NIV)
A friend loves at all times.
—Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)
Author’s Note
A Counterfeit Veil is a restorative Bible study inspired by four women determined to overcome the spiritual burden of the sexual abuses we experienced as children. We banded together in prayer as friends to discuss, design, and test-drive this study. It is intended to help women push through the barriers of shame to reattach to the unsurpassing love of Christ.
A portion of the proceeds of this book is donated to ministries that support sexually abused women. We are proud to partner with Christian organizations that actively assist women to obtain physical freedom, establish financial independence, and experience spiritual healing.
For more information, learning resources, and teaching materials, visit acounterfeitveil.com.
Introduction
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
—Psalm 23:4–6 (NIV)
This is a ministry of love. We are not professional counselors—just women who have walked in your path and wrestled with our pain. We are committed to walking with you now. We understand that coming to this group may be one of the hardest things you have ever done. It might be a last resort, but it is truly a good thing you can do now to begin moving forward. You are here by divine appointment. Be devoted to your healing. Being here now is an act of bravery—no matter how it feels. Be gentle with yourself; this is a difficult journey.
You are entering the territory of truth. There is an enemy who wants you to fail, but he dissolves in the power of truth. You have a loving God who is stronger, and He is constantly willing to deliver you from bondage. You are strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. We pray the Lord directs your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.
Lesson 1
Healing Community: Safety and Trust
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
—Ephesians 1:17 (NIV)
The Impact of Sexual Abuse and the Nature of God’s Healing
The essence of healing community is to create a strong Christian network where safety and trust are established for the purpose of spiritual growth. Healing is a vital part of spiritual growth. In this group, we will learn to develop trust in the framework of safe relationships. We will choose to be committed and to maintain confidentiality and accountability.
Sexual abuse causes long-term physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational scars that leave gaping, unhealed wounds in the soul. The survivor is left with crippling pain that doesn’t seem to respond to the healing powers of worship, prayer, and devotion to reading scripture. In spite of a genuine desire to follow the Lord and experience the blessings of His love, survivors of sexual abuse have been infused with lies that leave them feeling worthless, confused, and fundamentally disinherited from any good thing. The result is a deep-seated inability to fully identify with God the Father as a protector and benefactor or with Christ as a Savior. The perception, from a victim’s heart, is that God must be indifferent or powerless. It appears that the promises of His love must be for someone else. Our healing begins with a conscious choice: to shift our identity from the hands of an evil abuser and place it in the hands of a loving God (Jeremiah 29:11).
A sexually victimized Christian feels isolated and disconnected from people, both in and out of church, as a result of trauma to the body, mind, and spirit. This damage does not simply heal on its own over time…
Lesson 2
An Honest Appraisal
This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
—1 John 3:19–20 (NIV)
Sexual Abuse Defined and a New Way of Relating
It is surprising that many victims don’t label their experiences as sexual abuse; therefore, we need to clarify. For the purpose of our study, we are defining sexual abuse as any contact or interaction initiated by a perpetrator in which the victim is being coerced and used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or any other person. Inappropriate sexual interactions may be visual, verbal, or physical. Sexual abuse always involves an imbalance of power where the perpetrator controls the victim through intimidation, seduction, threat, force, or drugs and alcohol. The perpetrator’s power over the victim can be due to relationship (such as a parent, boss, teacher, or church official), age difference, physical strength, intellectual advantage, or financial control.
Although sexual abuse can occur as an isolated incident involving a stranger, it is far more likely to be carried out by someone known to the victim. It is a tragic reality that sexual abuse often pollutes multiple generations in a family. Sexual abuse is common, and it most often occurs in an environment that is emotionally and spiritually vacant. It crosses all racial, cultural, socioeconomic, and religious boundaries. Sexual abuse is a crime…
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About the Book
Where was God when I was sexually abused? This is the great unspoken question of women silently suffering in our churches today, followed closely by a second. How can God claim to care about me when I was forced to endure such unspeakable acts?
The Bible openly covers a lot of territory on sexual abuse. It holds the keys to unlock deep-seated shame, guilt and bitterness that fuse to the soul as a result of sexual violation. A Counterfeit Veil is an invitation to trade those unrelenting feelings of worthlessness and brokenness for a pure hope.
A Counterfeit Veil is a guided tour that uncovers truth about the extreme harm sexual abuse inflicts throughout a woman’s life, affecting her mind, spirit, and relationships. You will encounter and interact with scripture, perhaps in a way you never have before, as you recover your authentic spiritual identity.
You are not alone. Scripture does not shy away from the reality of your pain. You will find honest answers where there is freedom to ask the unspoken questions and take off shame like an old garment. As you journey through this study, you will find grace and acceptance that unfold both the promise and power of Christ to restore the beauty hidden beneath your unhealed scars.
About the Author
Terresa Tasabia has worked in healing ministries for 35 years, from treating the wounds of trauma and injury to managing the challenges of chronic illness and hospice care. She has coordinated church and women’s fellowship events, worshipping at her current home church for over 20 years. Terresa and her husband live in the beautiful agricultural heartland of California’s Central Valley. They have three grown children serving in education and law enforcement, and are the very proud grandparents of three adopted grandkids.