L O V E
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” – John 3:16 KJV
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1Corinthians 13:13 NIV
Love. It’s a word that is only four letters long, but it is undeniably the most powerful word in the entire universe.
If somebody asked you to define “love”, what words would you use? How do you convey such a deep and intensely personal emotion in words? To complicate this a little more, the word “love” is used liberally these days so its true meaning and intensity can easily get watered down. You will hear people say they love the cheeseburger they are eating, or they just love that new movie. Some people also use the word love to manipulate others to get what they want. So maybe what we’re really talking about is “true love?” So how would you define “true love?” Perhaps an example or two will be help.
As I mentioned earlier, for this entire story to really come alive for you, you need to understand just how much I loved my mother. Now, you also need to understand that I’m pretty much a wimp by nature – I hate pain, even a little pain, even little aches and hurts. I do my best to avoid anything that will cause me pain. Paper cuts and hangnails are arch-enemies for me.
Later in this book, you will read about how my mom was in almost unbearable pain for a couple of weeks. Even little movements would cause her to cry out or grimace. The pain medications they gave my mom might have taken the edge off a little, but she was still in a lot of pain. So what did this wimp do? Did I thank God that mom was suffering instead of me? Of course not! No, this wimp who avoids pain decided that if there had been some way for me to take mom’s pain away from her and take it on myself, I would have done it in a heartbeat. I would have endured her pain and suffering in her place. It was more painful for me to watch the person I loved more than anything in this world suffer than to actually endure the physical pain myself. I prayed and I asked God to give me mom’s cup of suffering instead of leaving it with her. I’m sure, if roles were reversed, mom would have done the same thing for me. But God did not say yes to those prayers and I think there is a very good reason why God did not grant my request: He knew I wasn’t strong enough to handle it, but my mom was. Even in the midst of all of her suffering, mom still had her focus on God. Yes, she did wonder at times why God was allowing her to go through all of this, but she was never angry at God. She still loved God despite the pain she was enduring. She never thought of taking matters into her own hands and trying to end her suffering. Every night when I left her bedside I said a prayer out loud that God would keep mom safe through the night and that He would heal mom and ease her suffering. It was encouraging to me that sometimes during the worst pain, mom was crying but said she just wished that God would take her home to heaven; she just wanted to go and be with God and with Ralph. I want to believe I would have had the same faith and focus on God through pain like that, but I’m not sure I would have. God knew that mom’s faith was strong enough to endure the battle, and endure it to whatever resolution He had in mind. In Revelation 2:10 ESV God reminds us, “Do not fear what you are about to suffer….Be faithful unto death and I will give you the crown of life.”
…I should also tell you that mom has had physical pain for as long as I can remember. Back pain, leg pain, arm pain, neck pain; you name the body part, mom likely had pain in it. Pain became a part of her daily life. Did she like the pain? Of course not, nobody does. Did it stop her from doing things? Not really - not until Christmas Day 2013. If there was someplace to go, somebody to see, something to be done (including cleaning, cooking, doing the dishes, etc.), mom was usually up to it. She had a very determined will and was not a patient person. Here are a few examples of how bad mom’s back and legs were really bothering her the last few months of 2013: even though mom really liked to go out to eat, she was more content to stay home and have me bring take out from our favorite restaurants. Even though mom really liked to look around in the stores when we went on a shopping trip to Green Bay, she was content to either stay in the car or even sometimes to stay home. And as much as she loved her Lord and Savior, and going to church on weekends, she was content to stay home from worship and have the pastors visit.
…Jesus, with a deeper, truer love in His heart for you than you can possibly understand, looked at you in your sinful state, understood that it hurt Him more to see you in pain and suffering than it would be if He took it on Himself, and was obedient to the Father’s will to take your sin and put it on Him. Jesus was willing to take God’s full punishment for your sins on Himself. He was willing to suffer great physical and emotional pain to make sure you were saved for all eternity. To me, that’s how you put true love into words.