Destroy the Destroyer

Introduction

You cannot be imprisoned without a cause, and the cause can be true or false. Bitterness is like a prison where you are kept for holding on to your anger for too long, no matter the cause. Bitterness is an imprisonment of the body, soul, and spirit, which I will explain in due course. It is also like a cancer, which eats up the host, according to American poet Maya Angelou, and eventually kills it: “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”1

Cancer does not kill in a day. It takes time. And let me emphasize, it is a destroyer as well. Bitterness is also like a bit in the mouth of a horse. It is a small object, but it controls the very life of the horse that wears it. So does bitterness in the life of a bitter person. It is therefore not to be entertained by any person. Many people find themselves in the prison of bitterness, and when salvation does not come their way, the result is destruction or death, spiritual and physical. Bitterness is a spirit and may look calm in its prison cage—the cage of bitter emotion—but when let out without any restraint, it becomes a destroyer if not a killer. It’s like a story I read of a Siberian tiger that escaped from a zoo some years back and mauled two young men without any provocation. The Bible says in Jeremiah 4:7: “A lion has come out of his lair; a destroyer of nations has set out” (NIV). When bitter emotion is let out of its den without any control, it becomes a killer like a real lion.

When you see a lion coming out of its den, you don’t wait to see what it is looking for before you do something to protect yourself. Bitterness is like a lion that the devil has released out of its den. It is looking for someone to devour. It must not be you. The story of Absalom in the Bible, who killed his brother, Amnon, is a classic example of the caged beast let out without restraint. It was calm for a season, but when the opportunity came for it to get out, the results were disastrous. Absalom was in the prison of bitterness for two solid years, unable to free himself until the killer in him came out to finish its work. You need to free yourself if you notice that you are a bitter person or becoming a bitter person. However, you cannot free yourself if you don’t know what is happening to you, how it is happening, its effects, and how to avoid it in the first place. This is what this book is all about.

If the world could be free of bitterness and bitter people, I don’t think it would be the way it is today. Many people in society today are bitter for various reasons, and this is destroying many marriages, families, relationships, organizations, and society in general. If you are in the prison of bitterness, you don’t have to serve your full term before being released. You can have a presidential pardon—God’s pardon—if only you will ask. In my country, Ghana in West Africa, every year the president grants amnesty to certain prisoners. In effect, they do not serve their full term. They receive pardon. You also need to take advantage of God’s pardon and get out of your bitter imprisonment so that you can reorganize and go on to enjoy your life.

How do you feel when you taste a bitter pill or medicine? When we were children, the only effective drug available against malaria was chloroquine, given in tablets or by injection. Because the tablets were very, very bitter, some of us preferred the injection even though we were afraid of needles. Bitterness is bitter in the sense that it never makes you happy just as the chloroquine tablets never made us smile. Bitterness is a lifestyle that is lived in a bitter atmosphere or condition infested with acrimony and hatred, sealed and polished with pretence. In this pretentious atmosphere, silence shouts louder than words.

I have come across one or two people whose lives have been completely ruined as a result of harbouring bitterness and never letting it go. There was a young man who never forgave his father for abandoning his family at a time when they needed him most. His bitterness even made him hate himself as a man, because sometimes he felt he was like his father. What you go through in life in itself does not make you bitter; rather, it is said that your response is what creates the root of bitterness, the ultimate destroyer or killer of your life. The world is never a place free of pain. Jesus never promised a trouble-free life for his followers. He did not have life easy himself. His opponents were always at their possible best. You must also know that there are disappointments in life. It is not always the way you want it.

This is why I am writing this book—to expose what effects bitterness can have on a person, and how to avoid being destroyed by this destroyer, or how to deal with it if you have this bug called bitterness in your life. Many people are being destroyed by this phenomenon and yet are “unable” or deliberately refuse to do anything about it. It has really become a bit in their lives, like the bit in the horse’s mouth. If you find yourself in this state, apart from applying the recommended actions in this book, it will also be helpful if you seek help from above until you are free. Let God into the situation. Let him into your prison camp, for the Bible says, he came to set the captives free. He will set you free, for if the son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed. Don’t be an “anger nurse.” Be a “love minder.” If you don’t nurse anger you will never be bitter. To nurse is to take care of a person who is sick or injured to ensure that the person does not die or deteriorate. If you refuse to passionately take care of your anger, and to feed it with hatred and resentment, it will not survive, and bitterness will not be able to grow out of it. It will surely die.

The sun shines on and affects both the believer and unbeliever. So does bitterness. How should you as a Christian deal with bitterness to differentiate yourself as a believer from those who don’t believe?

It is my prayer that by the time you finish reading this book and applying the recommended solutions, the bit of bitterness will be removed from your mouth so that God can lift you up where you belong, which is not in the prison of the destroyer and killer. I also pray that you will receive your “unemployment benefits” since you will no longer be an “anger nurse.” As a Christian, you have an advantage: Christ in you! Don’t kill your happiness! You have to destroy the destroyer before it destroys you. Remove the bit, break the chains of bitterness, and set yourself free.