Awakened by an Unexpected Gift

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day came, and the family celebrated the holidays together. Then the cold and dreary part of winter set in. Paige continued to go to meetings, but now she would let Fergus drive her. She would walk down the steps to the church basement without an escort. She wasn’t comfortable there, but she put on a good front. She started to know some of the people. She soon began to sense that they had the same feelings that had plagued her all these years.

One particular group had been in existence for decades and had a lot of members. Paige fit in there, although there were only one or two women in the group. The men were professional people. In fact, the group was often referred to as “the lawyers’ group.” There actually were a handful of lawyers and at least one judge among them. Paige had always considered herself an intellectual, so she thought this was the right place for her.

On a cold and dreary night, February 26, 1970, Fergus dropped Paige off in a slush-filled driveway at the door to the meeting. Paige had had only one drink that day, in the mid afternoon.

Something that Paige heard that night was different from the meetings over the past few months. Or maybe it was the buildup of what she had been hearing at those many meetings. This meeting had a different effect.

Paige was awakened by an unexpected gift.

Saint Ignatius Loyola had found that “at the heart of love lies only surrender, an entire gift of self that binds one irrevocably to the beloved.” Paige prayed, as had Loyola: “Gracious God, I ask for the grace that I might be able to turn my will and life over to your care” (Jacqueline Syrup Bergan and Marie Schwan, Praying with Ignatius of Loyola, 36).

Paige surrendered to her disease. She admitted to herself that she couldn’t do this by herself, so she made a decision. She turned her life and her will over to the care of a loving Godas she understood Him.

She had taken a drink of alcohol that afternoon to get through the day. But the next day, February 27, Paige did not drink any alcohol. February 26, 1970, would become a very special day in Paige’s life.