Pure Love

We live in a world in which sexual immorality is promoted and glorified at every turn, and tragically, as God’s people, many of us fall prey, daily, to its seduction. Precious people, redeemed by Jesus’ blood give into temptation and are consumed with guilt. They go to church, engage in corporate worship, and may even serve in a ministry of the church, but beneath it all they are consumed with sexual and relational sin. The Spirit of God is grieved when we live our own way, even as we pretend to be following Him. The very church that has been equipped to be the light of the world is languishing under the pressure of darkness, its impact quenched. The stakes are high and from where we are sitting it seems like the church in the west is losing the fight.

Why a book on sexual purity?

This book came about because, in my (Timon’s) pastoral ministry, I began to realize that this is not just an issue that some people struggle with—everyone struggles with it. And there is a good reason for this. The world that my grandfather grew up in is a completely different world to the one that my children inhabit.

In the 1930s and 40s the majority of Australian society embraced basic Christian morals. This meant that the church did not have to be very intentional at discipling its people in sexual ethics and relationships because the foundational institutions of our society—government, media, school and family—were essentially affirming what the church taught in these areas. The church and our society were basically swimming in the same direction.

However, the current started to shift after the Second World War with the sexual revolution. No longer did the majority of Australians believe that sex should be reserved for marriage. No longer was pornography relegated to the seedy part of town. The tide was starting to turn. And the church found that she was swimming upstream. Since the 1960s the current has been getting stronger and shows no signs of changing direction. What was once considered to be pornography is now a part of most major motion pictures and television shows. More extreme forms of porn are now readily accessible on the Internet and the industry has reshaped how men and women think about sex. Homosexuality, which used to be outlawed in most states of Australia, is now not only acceptable and legal, but is celebrated as good and healthy. Sex outside of marriage has become the norm, and even one night stands are considered to be not only okay, but even healthy. The ‘try before you buy’ philosophy has overtaken sexual purity as the best pathway to having great sex when you do finally settle down.

So, how has the church responded in general to this changing environment? For the most part, we have been caught sleeping. In most of the churches that I have been a member, sexual ethics and relationships were rarely addressed. We would have the standard talk about sexual purity, but topics like sex, dating, singleness, pornography, masturbation and homosexually were never discussed. What this means is that most Christians, and in particular, most Christian young people, are getting their cues about sexuality from their culture.

Many young Christians see little need to be drastically different from the culture. Even Christians who do desire sexual purity are often not well equipped to deal with the full on sexual temptation that is now a part of everyday life in the western world. Whenever a young man comes to me for discipleship I have learned to assume that one of his struggles (sadly often a losing struggle) will be with pornography and masturbation. The struggles within relationships and the battle for sexual purity are consuming our young people, and I believe that these may be fundamental reasons why the church in the west is often powerless and not growing.

We have written this book because we believe in the purpose and mission of the church. Every Christian has an important role to play in the church but we can see the drastic ways in which the battle for sexual purity is claiming casualties and crippling entire parts of the body of Christ. We believe the Bible has the answers and that through God’s divine power the Christian is supernaturally equipped with everything they need to fight this battle.(2 Peter 1:3)

If we are going to turn things around then we need intentional discipleship in this area. This topic needs addressing openly and often if we are going to strengthen people to swim against the ever-growing tide. Christian young people need to understand the influence of the culture on various aspects of their sexuality. They need to know the truth of what the Scripture says. Finally, they need to understand what they are called to do, and how the love and grace of Jesus Christ enables them to follow a call that is becoming increasingly radical. Sarah and I have collaborated on this project to bring you a resource that is practical and strongly biblical, with insights from each of our unique perspectives. Sometimes in a chapter you’ll hear primarily from me and my experiences, while in other chapters you’ll hear more from Sarah. We have written each chapter to stand-alone, so it can be a resource for Christian young people, youth leaders and pastors as we all stand together to fight in the battle for sexual purity, the health of the church, and the glory of God.