My King, My Lover, My Friend

I. Necessities

The poem that follows, interestingly enough, was finalized the same day I began writing this book. I originally started this poem several months earlier when I was still in Okinawa. I remember sitting in the Starbucks in American Village off Highway 58 when I came up with the idea for the poem. My initial concept seemed satisfactory. However, as I began putting pen to paper, it quickly got too wordy. The idea of the poem was to express the bare essentials for living a good life: what do we really need? This was the unstated question that positioned itself squarely in my mind as I wrote the poem. So, in the spirit of bare essentials, I wanted the verbiage to be simple, straightforward, and without excess. I got through the first few lines and had to stop; I didn’t really like what I had written. I decided maybe that day just wasn’t the right day to finish the poem. So I put my pen down, picked up the book I had been reading before my inspirational interruption, and left the poem partially written to be finished another time.

Fast forward several months, I was now living in Victorville, CA, after having executed permanent change of station orders to Marine Corps Logistics Base Barstow. Faced with re-establishing myself in America after living overseas for two years and with the task of furnishing a two-bedroom apartment on my own, the question—what do we really need?—found its way back to the forefront of my mind. The reason for this was very simple: money.

While I was in Okinawa, I was fortunate enough—or perhaps I should say blessed—to save up a very significant amount of money. So significant, in fact, that when I hit American soil, I had enough money to pay off the remaining balance of a loan I had taken out while at the Naval Academy, to buy a brand new Toyota Tacoma and a used Suzuki GSX-R600, and to have a few thousand left over. Wow. Thank you, Lord.

But money and I have a weird relationship. For one, because I don’t like money. It’s hard to be friends with someone you don’t like. I like what I can do with money. But I don’t like money itself. Money, for me, is like one of those coworkers you really only talk to when you want something from them. And two, because I am always worrying about whether or not I am using the money the LORD provides for me in a wise and appropriate manner. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to spend more money than I feel I should. When this happens, I ask myself, “Do I need this?” And more often than not, the answer is, “No, I don’t need this.” I will not die if I do not buy it. My friends and family will still support me if I do not have it. And most importantly, Jesus will still love me if I decide my money is best used elsewhere.

The question of need does not always determine whether I follow through on the purchase or not. After all, if I bought or possessed only what I actually need, my apartment and my person would look rather more sparse than they do currently. However, I ask the question of myself regardless because I want to make sure that, at the very least, I am consciously acknowledging my ability to get along just fine without making the forthcoming purchase. I want to keep all things in their proper perspective, and I want to keep my priorities in line with what they ought to be.

With these things in mind, how then should I view money? Is money evil? Of course not. It is a resource given to us by God to be used and enjoyed. This is where I find myself when I think about the financial resources and material blessings the LORD has so graciously bestowed upon me: attempting to strike the right balance between enjoying the money He gives and not using it unwisely. For to overspend would be foolish, and to underspend would be miserly. If I overspend, I run the risk of getting myself into debt and other similar financial problems. But if I underspend (or overly restrict my financial generosity towards others), I may end up like the man in the Bible who filled his silos full of grain, but whose life that very night God demanded of him. I want to save money, not horde it. Am I being financially foolish? Am I remembering that nothing I have here will go with me to Heaven? Again, there is a balance that must be found.

And so, with all of these thoughts going through my mind, I finally got the inspiration to revisit this idea. “What do we really need?” This is the question I hope to answer in the following poem. Only the title (“Necessities”) of the original poem I began writing in Okinawa remains:

A pair of clothes,
That I am not shamed by my nakedness.
A meal to eat,
That my body and mind have strength to achieve.
A glass of water,
That I do not wither and die.
The faithfulness of a companion,
That I have reason to rise when the morning dawns.
The love of a Father,
That I may know my life has meaning and purpose.
The sacrifice of a Savior,
That my transgressions shall not be held against me on the Day of Judgment.
The Presence of His Spirit,
That I may grow in the knowledge of His truth and love.

For if I have at least these things,
My body will run its course,
And my soul shall live forever.