Living with Cancer

Disappointments

My body was healing slowly from the surgery, and I was looking forward to putting all this behind me and getting my life back to normal. Then came the news of the pathology report from the surgery. The results were not as positive as I had thought they would be; and, in fact, the report showed more issues of concern which needed to be handled.

At this point, the doctor recommended follow-up treatments—not just radiation, but chemotherapy as well! How could this be? I wondered. If there was ever one thing in my life I didn’t want to go through, it was chemotherapy treatments!

It was at this moment that I realized this journey with cancer wasn’t over yet—in fact, it was just beginning. The oncologist’s recommended course of treatment was strong, and I would lose my hair, become weak and nauseated. At first, I joked with the doctor, stating that my husband and my boys were the ones in the family who wore the hats, not me! Then reality began to set in and the tears began to flow. Chemotherapy treatments?!

As my husband and I arrived back home from the oncology office, I again knelt in the living room with a broken heart and prayed, seeking the Lord’s strength for what was ahead. Chemotherapy? I questioned. How am I ever going to be able to endure this kind of treatment?

As I prayed and sought the Lord’s guidance and peace in my life, the Holy Spirit reminded me again of these verses:

“Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee” (Isaiah 43:1b-2).

“Fear not: for I am with thee” (Isaiah 43:5a).

“Thus saith the LORD, which maketh a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty waters; Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:16, 18-19).

“As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Be strong and of a good courage” (Joshua 1:5b-6a).

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9).

As I continued to seek the Lord, He gently spoke to my heart and said, You can’t relate to others with cancer without going through this (chemotherapy and radiation). I want to use this for My glory. I was reminded yet again that God wanted to use the cancer in my life, and now I must go through the treatment process as well, in order to be able to relate to others who were on the same path.

The Lord also spoke to my heart about not going back to being the same person I was before the cancer. God had been working in my life, forming me into a vessel He could use in a new way. I didn’t know what this “new way” meant—where the Lord would lead me from this point—but my faith and trust were in Him, and I knew I would follow wherever He led.

Are you dealing with disappointments in your journey with cancer? Do you feel overwhelmed and devastated about the news of the challenging treatments that lie ahead? Then turn to Jesus in prayer right now. He knows your pain, anxiety, and fears, and He has His arms open wide, ready to receive you into His loving care. Trust Him completely with your life, rest in His arms, and let Him walk with you through the days ahead, step by step, all the way.

Dear Jesus, please hear my cry. I need You, Lord! These challenges are too much for me to face alone. Please take away my fear and give me peace and strength to face what lies ahead.