Widow Warrior
Praying Circles from Widowhood
by
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Day 10: Soul Mates
Song of Songs 3:1, 4 (NRSV)
Upon my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer… Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him tightly and would not let him go…
It was about 4 pm on Easter afternoon in 1971 when Mark asked me to marry him. It seemed like a lifetime before our wedding day, June 8, 1972 finally arrived. In part of our vows, we pledged, like so many other couples do, “until death do us part”. After being blessed with 41 amazing years of marriage, our parting had sadly and unexpectedly arrived. I sat next to and cried over Mark’s lifeless body for several hours before our children arrived from their long journeys to the hospital. After our children had met me at the hospital and spent several hours at Mark’s bedside, our daughter, Cori, drove me home. Since I had been up for over 30 hours, I went to lie down in our bed. As I was undoing the covers, I looked up at the plaque on the wall above our headboard. The saying was from Song of Songs 3:4: I have found the one my soul loves. I was exhausted, but the pain from my grief was too sharp to let me fall asleep.
Some believe that Song of Songs, written by Solomon, shouldn’t be a book to be included in the Bible. Solomon had many wives, but the one he writes about in this book had really taken him over. She was the one that he loved deeply. Although Solomon had wisdom bestowed upon him by God, he didn’t appear to be a good husband to his other wives. But how could he? He had to divide his husbandly affection among so many! By the end of his life, Solomon served the false idols of this favorite wife. In the Song of Songs, there is no reference to God, His laws, nor does it impart words of wisdom, as in Solomon’s book of Proverbs. Instead, Song of Songs celebrates the erotic love between Solomon and the peasant maiden he loved. Solomon described love as a bonding relationship that made them rejoice and that was sweeter than wine. This book is vivid in the descriptions of how fully a man and a woman can enjoy their love and commitment to each other, through this gift from God, as two become one flesh.
Song of Songs, written as an illustration of God’s creation of marriage, can also be viewed as a love story between God and His people. The king represents Jesus and the Shulamite woman represents God’s church. Everything we have is a gift from God (1 Cor. 4:7). Through loving us, God gives humans the ability to experience deep, unconditional love for someone else and to receive His divine love from another human being, as can only be experienced in a committed, sensual, and erotic marriage. Song of Songs vividly describes the couple’s relationship through their courtship, wedding, and maturing marriage. In getting to know God, we go through a type of courtship with Him. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are wed to him. The remainder of our life on earth is nurturing our divine relationship, just as we mature in our marriage relationship with our spouse, learning to love and trust God ever deeper and unconditionally. Revelation 19:6-8 encapsulates this for us: “Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give Him honor. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and His bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear”. For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.
Closing Prayer:
Dear Lord,
My lover is gone from me. I have confidence in Your promise that he is with You. I search for him, but I cannot find him. I call to him, but he makes no reply. I no longer can drink deeply of his love, giving ourselves to each other unreservedly. I am now beaten and bruised from our separation. I was my lover’s and my lover was mine. My cheeks are no longer rosy like pomegranates behind my veil. I long to see his eyes sparkle like doves beside springs of water. How my cup overflowed with blessings as his wife. In time, my Love, in time, we shall be reunited. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and we shall dwell in the house of the Lord together forever.
Amen
Inspired by Song of Songs 5:6-7; Psalm 23:6
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About the Book
Widowhood is one of the hardest and most painful experiences we women have to endure. Sometimes, though, there are no words to capture the pain, loneliness, and at times, desperation when finding yourself without your life mate. Prayer is the only answer when we are bent beneath the load of widowhood, because we have His promise that He will lift us and be our strong refuge when trouble comes. This devotional offers the widow’s aching heart a way to pray circles from widowhood, when the words just don’t come because of the heavy grief.
About the Author
Sherry Cosby is a mother, grandmother, and veteran teacher. After forty-one blessed years of marriage to her soul mate and best friend, she found herself without her beloved husband, Mark, following his sudden death. The enemy didn’t stop with just Mark’s death. He pelted Sherry and her family with more pain and agony. Fortunately, a couple of weeks after Mark’s death, a family friend told Sherry about Mark Batterson’s book, The Circle Maker, eventually leading her, and now you, to pray circles from widowhood.