Faith, Grace, and Cancer

Sent: Friday, March 25, 2005 12:13 AM

Subject: Chemo #6 Update - Stephanie Rodrigue

Dear Friends---Chemo #6 was completed on March 16th and I had my Neulasta injection on March 17th at Moffitt in Tampa. A sweet friend from church drove me the 2 hours to Tampa--I enjoyed Cindy's fellowship all day. It does take all day------ we left at 7 am, arrived for labs at almost 9, saw the doctor around 10, had lunch, and then started chemo around 1pm. I was finally finished around 6pm and my sister, Nan, picked me up for dinner and I spent the night at her home. Dr. T had a wonderful announcement after reviewing my labs---MY TUMOR MARKER HAS RETURNED TO NORMAL! --It was 33 and normal is less than 35. He seemed encouraged by my number and wants me to have two more chemo treatments in April. As you remember I was supposed to be done after #6 but my marker didn't come down before chemo #4 like Dr. T would've liked. I'll be done April 27th!!!! Thank you all for your prayers that the marker drop to less than 35!! Can you pray this time, if it is God's will, for a CA125 less than 16, total destruction of all cancer cells, and that my cancer will stay in remission forever I have felt really well this time except for the first 4-5 days after chemo and I praise the Lord for my well-being. I don't have to head back to Tampa this week for my Aranesp injection --my hemoglobin has risen to a whopping 12.3--higher than it's ever been--even off chemo! The new drugs for your white cell count and hemoglobin are truly a gift from God.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

This verse has become so real to me since my last chemotherapy--It seems it was before me as I prepared for Sunday school this week (we are studying the Psalm and as I took apart Psalm 37 this week to focus on the facts, the lessons, and the applications to my life--there was this verse, just jumping off the page at me). It was before me as I started a new devotional to add to the others I am doing--In 31 Days of Praise the author listed it as a scripture reference to look up and she speaks of rejoicing in the Lord. It was also in another devotional--My Utmost for His Highest-- that I am doing. The theme of delighting and rejoicing in the Lord was present in other scriptures that I "bumped into" this week. Nothing happens by accident, so I enjoyed being knocked on the head by God as I read --"Beloved, do not be surprised at the ordeal that has come to test you... you are sharing what Christ suffered; so rejoice in it." 1Peter4:12 and 2Corinthians 6:10 "as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things."

I realized I truly have it all--I am the richest person on Earth--I have Christ and I love Him more dearly than anyone or anything here on Earth or in heaven. Can you even fathom how hard that is for most of us to say?--especially we mothers who have given our entire lives and love to our families. I do love Kenny, Nicole, Marc, and Garrett--but it doesn't even compare to the love I have for Christ... I don't think I could've said that even a year ago. Can you say that He is loved above all the people you know or the things that you possess??? 1Corinthians 2:9.."as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." Proverb 8:17 "I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me." John 14:21 "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." He does!!!! He shows Himself to me every morning in Bible study--I hear His small voice whispering..."Do you get it???" "Look at that verse hard---Do you understand?" For me Bible study is not just some mechanical time of reading the word and praying my list of wants to the Lord---It IS a sweet time of one to one communication with our very creator--the one who chose us in Him before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4).

I choose to make time for the Lord because that time is so vital to my soul and well-being. I feel guided, energized, and so totally at peace. Can most people with cancer say that? I doubt it! It is amazing to sit here and realize that He is waking me up---I realize it is not about how I want to serve God----at church, women's ministry, Bible Study Fellowship, and all the things I want to do to show my love for God----It is only about Him--a personal, intimate, quiet, deep knowing of Him and His attributes--that He is GOD--sovereign and completely in control of ALL! Why is it that only trials bring growth? Are we so dependent and confident in ourselves that we don't feel we need God? It's amazing how busy I was---and how cancer can change your perspective on life, what's really important (eternity), and what we are here for. Oh the joy of knowing Christ.. I understand Isaiah 61:10 "I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness …