Overcomer

Spring 2013 came around OBGYN was finally over and I decided to start studying for step 2. This time I wasn’t going to waste money on 50 million books and question banks, I was going to stick to one resource and work myself through. I decided to buy online videos to watch for 6 weeks straight in addition to going through a bank backwards and forwards. I set off to work, set a good schedule, ate and exercised regularly and before I knew it June was around the corner. Once again, personal issues started to rise in my life but this time I was determined to handle them differently. I was amazed at how once again the past was trying to repeat and I literally was begging God for a different outcome. So the night before my exam I spent the night with my best friend who drove me to my exam. This time no tears were shed, my brain was completely focused and 8 hours went by faster than expected. She picked me up after my exam and for once I felt ok. I remember thinking to myself, yes this is it. Finally, I have aced something and I will prove to the world I was meant to go into this residency program and I would get in. So what I had done so bad on step 1, but I would make up for on it step 2! So once again, I continued my activities and 6 weeks later my score came.

My sister was home for vacation from her first year of college. Seriously, It felt like dejavu. She was sitting on my couch, I was on my bed. But this time there was no guessing scores, there was no her opening my letter. We decided to do this together.

228.

What? Are you serious? Is this really happening? God is this some kind of sick joke? Maybe they screwed up my score and gave me someone else’s score. No, can’t be they rarely ever make that mistake. I stared ATM score report and thought to myself, this is it. This is the final red flag, there is no way I can continue with my dream to be a cardiac surgery and get into a integrated program. I now officially didn’t have nay scores or grades going for me. No one would ever look at my application. At this point I knew I couldn’t quit medical school, but I certainly didn’t know what else to do with my life. How could I even go on away rotations, how could I continue with my plan to do I-6?

I knew I had to meet with someone, someone with expertise and who would be honest with me. So I met with my mentor the next day who happened to also be the chair of surgery, Dr. Griswold.

We talked about my scores, my grades, even the fact I didn’t do well on my surgery clerkship. I was expecting him to also tell me to give up on my dream. Instead I was shocked at his response. He instead told me to go on away rotations, to do my very best and stand out. And if I could get a letter from one of the programs I rotate at it would go a long way in helping me get into an I-6 program. He told me that in the world of cardiac surgery it is all about who you know and the connections you made. That sure maybe I didn’t have the numbers but that didn’t mean I was less of a candidate for a solid residency program. Still dishearten from the news of my score on top of everything else going wrong, I walked away with a tiny bit of hope. To this day, I know Dr. Griswold was Godsend and one of the people the Lord had placed in my life to make sure I wouldn’t give up on the dream He had planted. If it wasn’t for that encouraging conversation, I don’t really know what I would have done. And I’m glad I don’t have to know what would have happened, because once again the Lord took my dust and turned it life. An opportunity to keep going and to keep fighting.

The only question I kept harboring was, why. Why if this is what the Lord wanted for me, would it keep going so wrong?

I was about to find out in a few months.