Let’s Communicate with Love

Let the wise listen to the proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance. Proverbs 1:5 NLT

Listening for some is difficult, due to the lack of participation in the process. Communication requires a mutual understanding during the exchange of information between two or more people.

Active listening while communicating requires participation with your whole self. Therefore listening becomes the heartbeat of communication. Being a good listener is an art. A good listener must listen with their whole self and be fully involved in the conversation. A good listener becomes part of the conversation by leaning in, maintaining good eye contact with their legs and arms uncrossed which indicates openness to the discussion. This is called body language. A lot of information can be revealed through watching a person’s body language or their face. Pay attention when listening to a speaker, if their eyes, if their eyes remain strong and steady he or she appear confident and sure of themselves but if their eyes dart around as if they are looking for something or feel insecure people might find them untrustworthy.

Intense high emotions can be a roadblock when it comes to resolving a problem or discussing difficult issues. Nothing can be resolved when we are feeling hurt, angry or grieving. Problems need to be tabled before anything can be resolved.

Other roadblocks to good communication are the Anxious Rehearsing of thoughts of what a person might say next in the conversation before the other has finished speaking.

Giving Advice, Day dreaming and Interrupting. Each of these are common with married couples

“You Statements” Any statement starting with the word you are a blaming statement. I have also found the words never always should shouldn’t and wouldn’t to be false statements because human behavior is so unpredictable. These words often lead to conflict.

It can be difficult at first to fully exclude these words from your conversations involving conflicts arguments. Practice rephrasing your statements putting the emphasis on the problem not the person people or groups involved.

A I statement says something about the person making the statement, about a situation or feeling. This is the best and most respectful way to communicate without blaming or shaming. A common misconception with the use of an “I feel” statement is when it is thrown in front of a you statement.