The Long, Long Journey

Learning is an ongoing process. We probably learn something every day, even if it seems like a normal “ho hum” day. It might be a very little thing or maybe a very large lesson, but it most likely is there to help us traverse the road ahead. Contrary to my past aversion to learning, I enjoy (most of the time) gaining new wisdom and information. I even have a book that is filled with “useless facts” that I actually like reading. Regardless, I have certainly learned much over these last months, and these things have been, for the most part, very hard lessons. They have, however, been valuable to me, and I see life through a different lens these days.

As I look back at our marriage, I also see so many things I have learned along the way. I have made a list of some of those things and have realized that how I act and think now is different than when we first got married. That is not to say that everything I have learned is good, but most everything has been beneficial in helping me to navigate this journey through life and being able to avoid many of the pitfalls, potholes, and problems along the way.

I have also learned that, if we aren’t careful, life slips by without notice. We tend to take so many things for granted. We are here today, and in our minds, that is how it will be tomorrow and the next day. I have learned that life is fragile, and there are no guarantees. Plans are like a blank sheet of paper. They are empty. If perhaps we have the chance to make them come true, only then are the plans fulfilled. Friends come and go, and every minute gone by is another tick of time that will never be repeated. Whatever causes us to open our eyes each day will one day end. I certainly don’t mean to be discouraging or disparaging, because I have also learned that life is valuable, rewarding, and exciting. I wouldn’t trade the memories Cheryl and I made together for any amount of wealth, health, or fame. I am only reminded that, as my mother has said, “Life is short, so live until you die.” It is sometimes difficult to follow that philosophy when those moments of sorrow come creeping up on me, but I am gaining strength, and every mile that I travel is one more mile in the right direction.

I believe the greatest lesson I have learned as I make my way through this very difficult time in my life is that love is the ultimate goal—finding it, holding it, working to keep it, and finally, letting go of it. I am convinced that love never “just happens.” It is the combined effort of two hearts who have decided that they are willing to bypass their own singular and self-centered desires to share all they have and give all they can to the end that the two will truly become one.

No, I will never forget Cheryl just as you will never forget the loved one you have lost. I will remember her through pictures, friendships, stories, and memories. She will always be a part of me, though not in the physical sense. And I have the hope and assurance that I will see her again someday when I reach the end of my own “long, long journey.” Until then I will keep “driving through the land of sorrow.” And maybe, sometime and somewhere down this road, I will learn about love once again.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. (Rev. 21:4 KJV)