Design

A Lot About You

This book is a beacon to anyone who has drifted far away from themselves. Maybe over time, as life happened, you’ve made concessions. Maybe you did so in order to survive, or because you were afraid. Regardless of the reason, today you might feel you’ve become “someone else” or are “playing the part” in a script you didn’t write. Or you might feel caught up in circumstances beyond your control, disconnected from your past, present, or future. If you’re reading these words right now, you’ve come to the right place, at the right time.

The pages that follow won’t route you through a series of unfamiliar paths, but toward your true self. Rather than proposing strategies contrived by a stranger (me), this book offers a framework through which you can access and organize the wealth of information you already hold inside—information that can drastically impact the quality of your personal and professional life. You are invited to pause, ponder, and plan.

In no way is this book intended as an exhaustive guide to self-actualized living. Neither is it intended exclusively for people in professional leadership roles. The truth is, all of us are leaders of our own lives. This book was written with a firm conviction that humans are beautifully complex, and that living out of that complexity produces internal and external joy. A guiding assumption is this:

Self-awareness is intimately connected to positive leadership impact.

This book will awaken in you an awareness that you are magnificently made. It will also challenge you to critically assess who you are, and where you are. Whether you are leading others or striving to lead yourself in this complex and often confusing world, the practice of becoming self-aware can feel risky, but it offers many rewards. Fred Rogers said it best: “Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.”

In junior high school, one of my English teachers’ favorite phrases was “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” While I’ve forgotten much of what she taught about participles and gerunds, this proclamation resides in me to this day. If we have only one shot at this life, are we choosing to be fully present in all that we do? Are we aware of the “design features” that are uniquely ours—our gifts, passions, personality, and proficiencies? Do we understand these features well enough to use them effectively in our day-to-day lives? Are we calling on this knowledge to ensure that we are maximally engaged in meaningful activities and interactions at school, at work, and elsewhere? Pondering such questions, and uncovering who we are and how we belong to this world, is the way to determine what belongs inside our Personal Owner’s Manual. I won’t lie. It can be unnerving. At first, we might feel dismayed as we realize that much of our life’s investment in school, work, or other endeavors seems far removed from what it should be, given our Design. If that happens to you, remember: No experience is meaningless. Each one has played a necessary role in bringing you to the place in which you now find yourself. Those experiences have prepared you to ask the right questions, and positioned you to discover answers.

So there is no need to wait until you “know enough” or “have experienced enough” to start asking questions that matter. Now is the ideal time to hit the Pause button on your normal routine, consider the rewards of an examined life, and begin an exciting journey toward a life truly worth living—one lived according to your Design.

How to Use This Book

The book is divided into four chapters. The first three chapters will inspire you to consider the way you learn, the way you live, and the way you lead. The last chapter will guide you through a process for developing your very own Personal Owner’s Manual.

I suggest that you read the first three chapters before you start creating your Personal Owner’s Manual. The stories and examples in these chapters will prompt you to think about your own experiences. If a passage sparks a personal memory, feel free to stop and examine it. Clues from your past can remind you of who you are and help you move toward your desired future. Knowing and understanding yourself will help you develop self-leadership.

Be patient. Self-leadership happens inside you, and it doesn’t develop fully overnight. Have faith in the process. Devoting time to internal work will lead to external results.

Be strong. Developing self-leadership requires much of you. Throughout this book, you’ll be asked to look back as you move ahead. This may be painful at times. You’ll remember what it was like when your world seemed new, infinite, and ready to be conquered. You’ll think back to an earlier time when your identity was emerging through your keen interests and talents. You’ll relive and respond to words from others that diminished your self-worth, and to the words of those who made you feel invincible. You’ll consider how formal education may have cultivated a transactional orientation toward learning that thwarted personal development, creativity, and investment in your work. You’ll notice how your attitudes toward learning affect your professional work, and might make you feel disengaged. You might encounter memories that you haven’t thought of in years. That’s OK. Pause and examine them. Then keep going.

Be your true self. Chapter Four presents thoughtful questions that will help you imagine and articulate your Personal Owner’s Manual. It will also help you integrate this knowledge into meaningful strategies to move from a state of mere existence to one of being fully alive. As you develop self-leadership, you will start feeling and acting more and more like your true, best self. Let the discoveries begin.