What is success? How do you quantify it? How do you measure the intangible? Isn’t the journey more important? In our society, we have digressed to a point in which hyper-materialism, hyper-consumerism, individualism, hedonism, and an almost insatiable desire to be that dude or that chick in virtually all social settings reign supreme. The need to be successful has caused a level of deterioration in societal norms and such a degradation of thought that no matter how good you are, it is never good enough. Civility of communication, plurality of expression, diversity of thought, and higher-order cognitive and reflective engagement seem to be remnants of a world that will likely never again exist or be experienced by the masses.
In a world where success is often synonymous with monetary acquisition and fame, how do we keep people interested in their own progress? How do we challenge people to continually be the best version of themselves? How do we reinforce that keeping up with the Joneses is an exercise in futility? How do we accentuate the notion that comparing ourselves to others will cause us to be either vain or bitter? How do we meet people where they are and offer sage counsel that will prove valuable in helping them get to where they want to be? How do we help people practice intellectual humility? How do we reach mental maturity?
These questions are complex. Because life is multifaceted and multidimensional, we should expect complexity. There is no panacea to the ills that plague our society and no universal answer to the aforementioned queries. As such, it is important that you understand your personal value system, define success for yourself, and proceed accordingly.
Success, akin to beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Our individual journeys to success are also unique. My path is not your path, and your path is not my path. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
As a younger and much more inexperienced man, I also incorrectly and naively equated success with monetary and material acquisition. That perspective transformed when I talked to a young man whose view on life made me appreciate the journey and everything it has to offer instead of concerning myself with such an amorphous term like success.
During one of our regular phone conversations, I suggested that he was the most successful of all the fellas I knew because he had the money to buy and do whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted, and whenever he wanted.
His response was simply, “You are always smiling and sharing experiences about things that you have seen and/or done on your journey. Moreover, you are the one with the wife and kids. How am I the most successful?” Until that moment, I had not entertained the thought that someone, whom I thought had everything, might feel like he did not have anything. This revelation immediately and forever altered my thought processes.
Success, however you define it, is great. Do not be confused, however, by the attainment of success. The final destination is never truly final. As an achievement-oriented individual, I sometimes neglect my obligations to remain in the moment, reflect, and consider alternative perspectives. I sometimes focus so intently on achieving whatever goal I have in my mind, I lose sight of the myriad learning opportunities along the way. The sad part is that even after I have climbed a mountain, I do not take the time to celebrate the ascent and ultimate summit. As an achiever, the mantra, “On to the next one,” rings true.
For high achievers, the euphoria associated with goal achievement is fleeting. Sometimes, it is even anticlimactic as they are already locked in on the next adventure. The law of impermanence of things, which posits, “Nothing stays the same,” as the matriarch of my family likes to say, is a sobering, humbling, scary reality for those who want to be at the top of the food chain in their respective ecosystems.
We often hear that goal achievement is powerful and serves as a psychological motivator. While that is true, experiential and anecdotal evidence indicate that the journey is even more important. It is not about what we do, but about who we become during the process. It is not about the ultimate degree that we earn, but about what we learn en route to that degree. It is not about the trophies that we win, but the skill development necessary to be crowned number one. It is not about the title that we ultimately don, but the knowledge, skills, proficiency, and expertise acquired on the way. It is not about the awards that we receive, but about the people we encourage, motivate, and inspire as we walk beside them on the winding road of life.
Throughout Breakthrough, you will have the blessed fortune to learn about and incorporate the wisdom of some remarkable human beings who have experienced a variety of breakthroughs in their lives, are enjoying their journeys, and are successful, based on their own definitions. You will receive advice that will dramatically amend your perspectives on success, achievement, philosophies of life, love, and leadership, and many of the principles necessary for full engagement and active participation in your life journey. You will learn the elemental importance of not allowing who you are to stop you from becoming who you want to be. The stories and themes of hard work, failure, resilience, learning from others, asking for help, leading from where you are, etc., are most inspirational. I am confident that the insights provided within these pages will offer you value and help you as you prepare or continue to offer useful service as a servant to many.