Holler, Heaven and Home

I stepped into a long line, which proceeded to move along at a pretty good pace. We walked in front of table after table after table, arranged in a semicircle around the large room. Behind each table, was a representative of the university, waiting to push papers and pamphlets toward us every step of the way. As I neared the end of the procession, I was given a computer card with my name on it. This was back in the day, when computers were as huge as an entire wall, and cards that had a sequence of holes punched in them, were inserted into those big, massive machines. As the cattle call made its way toward the end table, a nicely dressed lady looked at me over her glasses.
"Name please?" I told her my name, and handed her my card. As she was intently studying my computer card, I noticed her nice red, polyester business suit. The A-line skirt and short jacket fit her perfectly. Her short, graying hair was teased and styled impeccably. She was very brisk and business-like, as she looked back up at me.
"We don't have your name in the system." She stood there looking at me, as if I was supposed to do something about that. I stood there looking at her, because I didn't know what to do. The line, which had been moving along nicely, began to back up behind me. Everyone was staring at me. For someone who had spent the last year of her life trying to be invisible, this was definitely an uncomfortable situation. I began to sweat. Finally, the lady looked at the man at the next table, which happened to be the end of the line. She cleared her throat to get his attention. "We don't have her name," she said. "What should I do?"
"Don't have her name?" he said incredulously. I felt like I had suddenly grown a third arm, or looked like a one-eyed, one-horned, flying-purple-people-eater.
"Well," said the man at the end of the table. "I'm the financial aid director. Did you complete all of your paperwork?"
"Yes," I said, in a very small voice.
"Are you sure?" he asked loudly. "After all...we don't have your name." Then he looked at the long growing line behind me. "Could you come back tomorrow?" he asked. "You are holding up the line. There must have been a computer glitch. Just come back tomorrow. Here's my card. We'll work everything out then." He shoved his card across the table at me, and just like that, I was dismissed.
I just nodded my head. Tears welled up in my eyes as I went to find my sister, Evelyn. She could tell that I was about to cry.
"What's the matter?" she asked. I just motioned toward the parking lot.
"Let's go," I muttered through my tears.
We got in the car, and I blubbered out the story as best I could, through crying eyes, and runny nose. My sobs almost overtook me. I cried so hard that I got the sniffling hiccups. After telling her what had happened, I turned my back to her, and faced the car window. We both were silent for a long time, as we traveled back down I-75 South toward home. I felt like such a failure...like I would never amount to anything! Again, I felt that I wasn't good enough. Then, my sister said something that has changed my life forever. God bless her! After about forty-five minutes of silence, she spoke to me in a quiet, calming voice.
"You know," she said, "You don't HAVE to go to college this fall semester. You can get a job, save up some money, and take time to learn more about it. You can enroll next year."
Well now...that put a whole new perspective on things. I liked that idea. It was exactly what I needed to hear at that time.

As I reminisce about that fateful day, I can still hear that lady's voice, and the other man's voice, saying, "We don't have your name...Your name is not in the system..." Words that brought tears to my eyes. But, do you want to know what I think now? I am so glad that my name is written where it matters most. Praise be to God, my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life, and no computer glitch can keep me out of Heaven!