Things Your Father Would Have Told You

A woman needs a whole man.
She needs a whole man. I will not court disaster by trying to tell you what a woman wants, but I can tell you what she needs and that’s a whole man. Relationships take two people. Both willing to do whatever is necessary to keep it healthy and help it grow. If you are not a whole man a woman can’t complete you. Two whole people come together and become one under God.
How do you know you’ve found that other person – ask God.
Before I go any further, we need to get one thing clear. There is a difference between love and lust. Both may attract but only one will last. I’ll make it clearer; too many people start a physical relationship before they develop a friendship. Having sex just because you can has directed many for a trip on the broken relationship loop.
Let’s look at the other side, some people have friends for life. They keep in contact with the same person for years; they meet on anniversaries, reach out on birthdays, call on holidays and involve themselves in the lives of friends’ relatives for the sake of friendship.
This is the same type of relationship you should think of when you choose your mate. Do you make her laugh? Is she happy with you doing just about anything? What is it you love about this person? What is it you hate? How do you resolve problems? What makes her special? Why do you think she will be a life-long friend?
Friendships are based on trust, honesty and mutual respect. When you combine lust and sex in this decision, you confuse the friendship bond and link your emotions to sex. What happens when sex is not enough? What happens when you can’t talk without arguing, the laughter and fun times are gone and all you have left is a person you don’t know anymore, don’t like and don’t have anything in common with? What happens when there is no sex and that was the only thing keeping you in the relationship?
When I started this section, I talked about being a whole man. What I meant is you need to know yourself. What makes you happy, sad, excited, anxious, serious and stupid.
Know her too; know her enough to know you can make her happy. Of course when you get married, you’re making a promise to try to do just that.
One of the biggest keys is listening. Friends listen to each other. As you get older you’ll discover how having a friend that listens to you lifts your spirits and affirms you. You both need affirmation. When you pray with her include those things that she is having problems with and give them to God. Knowing that you are including her hopes and fears in your prayer to God solidifies your position as “Spiritual Head of the Household”. Trust God, love large, but start by being a whole man.