Faces of Foster Care

Dayar, Washington, DC

Life was hard even prior to being removed from my family. My sister went into foster care a year before I even stepped foot in the system or knew what the system was. I didn’t fully process not seeing her at that young age. I just knew she was not there; I wasn’t with her anymore. I still got to see her a little, but she wasn’t with us, and then I was removed. I recall having visitation rights with my family very early on. One thing stuck out to me on every visit. Certain family members used to tell me this was short-term. We are going to get you soon, they’d say, and at the time this was something I really truly wanted to hear; that the stranger’s house I was living at was only temporary.

But telling a child at that young age that you’re coming to get him and then not showing up, I think, was the hardest to take. Who was I to believe? My family or these people I’m temporarily staying with? How I looked at it was, I don’t need to take this, I don’t have to do what you say to do. My family is coming to get me soon. Those thoughts soon reflected how I acted. I was very standoffish with the people I stayed with in foster care and I exhibited really aggressive behavior. I used to really act out and I just thought the more I acted out the sooner I might be able to move back in with my family. But at the time, I knew or thought my family was working towards getting me back.