Life, Death and the Things That Matter!

For a long time in my life I tried to create my own happiness. I want you to know that this was a mistake. There are many reasons why this is wrong, but I want to share some with you.

First of all, I have learned that it is impossible for us to create our own happiness. We are humans, and therefore we are fickle beings. What we want one moment, is not what we want the next. We believe that we know what will make us happy, but we don’t. What appeals to us in one instance of time, and in one particular situation, quickly fades. Our desires change so quickly that it is often very difficult to keep up with ourselves. By trying to satisfy the instantaneous desires of our flesh, we may be locking ourselves into painful situations which can become very difficult to escape. So, be very careful regarding what you pursue. Your mind and heart can play tricks on you. I have also learned that happiness is a very misunderstood concept. People try to attain certain things like beauty, wealth, power, status, money and sexual fulfillment believing that such attainments will result in their happiness. This is faulty logic, and such things in and of themselves are incapable of producing happiness. Therefore, never rely on anything or anyone to make you happy.

Secondly, you need to understand that happiness is a very misunderstood term and concept. People grow up reading and hearing stories that end with, “And they lived happily ever after.” This is, of course, offered up as the conclusion to the story once the main character has attained the love of their life. The story, however, never addresses these people dealing with the issues and struggles of life. So, know that living happily ever after is not some mystical condition that happens based on getting the mate you want, the job you want, the car you want or anything else that you want in any given moment of time. These may be good things, but they cannot and will not produce long-term happiness in your life. The sooner you grasp a solid understanding of these things, the better you will be and you will be less likely to make a crucial life-long mistake.

I want to say something a little off-track here before I forget. Don’t live your life in fear! Don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that, even after you have carefully considered and prayed about a decision, you fail to move out and do what needs to be done. Especially if the action is something honorable, charitable, praise-worthy or benefits someone else. Failing to move could result in a mistake as well. Mistakes are made of things that we shouldn’t have done, but did; and things that we should have done, but didn’t. Also, remember that doing things that benefit others is of great value. Too often when people think of happiness they think only of themselves, and not of anyone else. Do not fall into this trap, or this way of thinking. If you do, you may find yourself lonely and without true love. Furthermore, realize that mistakes can make you a better person. Look for the value that mistakes provide. Mistakes have a way of teaching us things that we will not easily forget. When I was a young boy, in the sixth grade, I told a big lie that caused me great heartache. Okay, I am sure you want to hear the lie. Well, here it is. When my mother remarried, I told some of my classmates that she married a professional (NFL) football player quarterback. This happened after I had watched a Monday Night Football game, and one of the teams had a quarterback with the same exact name as my new step-dad. Being proud that I had a new dad, and wanting others to be proud too, I went to school and circulated the good news of my step-dad being an NFL quarterback. After the good news spread, the teacher confronted me. I am very confident that this teacher knew this was a total lie, but the situation was used as a teaching opportunity. Anyway, I was asked to stay after class one day. I could feel the anxiety within me building. My heart was beating fast. Then, the teacher said it. The kids told what I had said. The teacher asked me if I would ask him (my step-dad) to come in and talk to the class about his job, and what it was like being a professional football player. Immediately, and without hesitation, I replied like a pro myself. I said, “Well I’ll ask him, but he is very busy.” In my youthfulness I thought this would suffice. It is so interesting how we think more lies can get us out of the lies we have already told. This way of thinking is not limited to children. Many adults fall into the same pit. So, watch your tongue! Well, a few weeks later, the teacher asked me to stay after class again. This time, rather than telling another lie, I spilled my guts. Came clean. Told the truth. Confessed. And boy, did that feel good. Confession is good for the soul. This lesson was invaluable for me. I learned at an early age that telling a lie can lead to a lot of discomfort, pressure and the temptation to tell even more lies. I was blessed by having a wonderful and caring teacher. Incidentally, please value and respect your teachers. They provide you with a tremendous service. The feelings that I had over what I had done were decidedly punishment enough. Learn to and strive to accept accountability and punishment for what you do wrong. This attribute is severely lacking in our culture today. Life is full of challenges, but know that you are up to each challenge that comes along. Don’t try to run from your mistakes, you can’t outrun them.