People Who Ramble On About Nothing

Dear Betty Sue,

I sure am sorry to hear of your latest run-in with the newspaper boys. Also, I am very surprised that the pancake flipper idea did not work. If it were me, I would have slathered you down with a powerful lot of butter and made you spin around in there until you came out of that dressing room like a tornado. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t live so close anymore. But, onto why I was writing you.

I was just sitting here thinking about the good old days when we were in high school. Although, I suspect they must have been better for you than me seeing as you always had a date and I was so shy nobody even knew I existed. How you ever found out that I do exist I’ll never know, but I sure am thankful. You see, helping my beloved grandson with his school stuff and having crazy things happen reminds me of our rascally days.

There was one event, in particular, that came to mind. Do you remember that world cultures class we had to take? You know the one where we had to study Greek gods, weird music and all different kinds of religions. That class sure was a pain in the hind end and the teacher, Ms. Carlyle, was kind of different. Over the years I’ve often worried about her. Anyway, I’m sure you remember.

It was during the music portion of the class where my famous one-liner came into the world. Ms. Carlyle was making us all listen to the strangest, most annoying music there was for weeks on end! Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t all opera! Of course, she subjected us to that as well, claiming that she liked it! (I told you she was different). Sorry to anyone who does care for it, but it’s just not my cup of tea.

One day, Ms. Carlyle, was playing some of the worst music we had heard all semester, that’s saying a lot seeing as all of it stunk! This specific day, she went around to every single one of us in the whole class and asked us what we thought about it. Of course, you know me, I was sitting there praying that she would somehow over look me. That prayer wasn’t answered the way I had hoped. You see, the other kids said the music sounded like an insect, or that they liked it, or that it wasn’t too bad. I, on the other hand, the shyest person in the whole class told her, “I’d prefer not to say.” Unfortunately, that did not work with Ms. Carlyle. She told me it was okay to say whatever I thought. Again, I told you she was different. Shy or not, you can’t let someone like me open up like that in public! That’s just asking for trouble. So finally, (albeit with incredible reluctance) I said, “It sounded like a fly having a mental breakdown.” Everyone in the whole room, including the teacher, busted up laughing! They were laughing so hard they looked as though they were about to fall off their chairs!