Take Back Your Life

It was a sober day, I was broken and feeling down in my spirit. A thousand thoughts were going through my mind at the same time. It was one of those days that my phone rang with many unpleasant people at the other end of the calls. Some were friends, very good friends a few months back, so good that I took it for granted they would support me anytime. It was such a hurt though, to realize I wasn’t trusted as much as I thought. To make matters worse, I seemed to be giving them more and more reasons not to trust me - I was breaking promises and failing to meet up deadlines. For these, my once very cooperative business partners and some friends harassed me in many ways. I sat down behind my office table many times in deep thoughts, and over heard my once friendly colleagues say the most vilifying things about my character (sometimes for some people, loyalty ends where benefits stop). I have always been a very sensitive person but I was edging towards paranoia. And this has got to stop. I was struggling in many departments of my life but surprisingly, I noticed a dramatic improvement in my preaching; I was beginning to surprise myself and query God every time after preaching. I wanted not to ever be on that pulpit again, but my pastor kept giving me the chance to preach at our church; not only that, I also kept getting invited to speak in different places. What’s all this about dad? I queried as I sat in the office trying hard to pray but finding neither words nor passion. I was deep in debts and the stress was destroying everything in me, my confidence was ebbing fast. At the time, I could say I found that confidence only when I preached, and I attribute that to the power of the Holy Spirit. But why I must be in so much pain while others get blessed by God through me was baffling, and I desperately needed to end the experience. I had lost lots of money in a business that went bad, got my shop bungled and got duped, all in a space of about six months and at a time when I was just scaling up my business operations, hence the debts and the overwhelming phone calls. I wanted answers, I needed money to settle these issues and start afresh but there was no where I could run to. I thought of some night dreams I had a year or so -earlier (I don’t believe every dream has a meaning, but there are some that are very revelatory) and wondered if these were a manifestation of those dreams and if they are, what else was on the way because in those dreams, I was in serious trouble but I was obviously also on a divine mission, and though I was attacked by friends and foes, I did escape through inexplicable means. As I thought of my situation and … prayed? Well, I really can’t say I prayed. But if I did, all I wanted was to hear the Lord reassuring me that it would be alright and that I was going to get a miraculous breakthrough to offset the debts and restart my business. But what I got was something far better: I couldn’t say at the time if God was answering my prayers or not, but I remember that in no particular order, and at random times over a few years starting from that day in my office, some thoughts about practical living kept flashing through my mind. In recent times, I have taken a little time to study those thoughts. Stay with me, in the next few pages; I will be sharing with you, most of those thoughts.