A Caregiver’s Guide for Alzheimer’s and Dementia

The main underlying cause of memory loss and confusion is the progressive damage to brain cells caused by the disease. Sometimes your loved one may remember an important date about one person and not the other. Sometimes they may remember something significant about someone who they aren’t close to, but can’t remember something significant about the caregiver. There is no rhyme or reason in most cases, so try not to spend a lot of time analyzing why. The human brain is very complicated, and the condition presents other challenges that scientists still cannot fully answer. They may even lash out at the person taking care of them for no apparent reason, and the caregiver may not understand what triggered the behavior. However, people with Alzheimer’s have their own reality that is hard for the caregiver to comprehend. They may get upset or angry easily, use bad language, hurl insults, or scream. Your loved one might even throw things or resist your care by pushing and/or hitting you. This behavior could be a symptom of the disease, or just a response to them feeling confused. Your loved one will demonstrate behaviors both physically and verbally. Aggressive behaviors may be either verbal or physical, can occur suddenly, and could be the result of a frustrating situation, or have no apparent reason at all. While aggression can be very difficult to cope with, it’s important for you as the caregiver to understand that your loved one is not behaving this way on purpose. Aggression can be caused by many factors, including physical discomfort, environmental factors, and poor communication.

Caregivers have to be careful with making changes in the environment. For example, modernizing a home could create some significant challenges for the person with Alzheimer’s. When we moved from one home to another, it took my mother a long time to adjust. An acquaintance shared with me how she upgraded her mother’s phone from a rotary phone to touch-tone, with a Caller ID that announced aloud the numbers of the caller. She later found out that her mother stopped using the telephone because she preferred the rotary phone. I was surprised to learn that every time the Caller ID called out numbers, it caused the lady to feel afraid. Someone else shared with me how they upgraded to a modern microwave and their loved one with Alzheimer’s refused to use it. When my mother lived with us, we had a dishwasher, but she refused to use it because she enjoyed washing dishes in the sink! You have to be careful that you are not stopping the person from doing something they enjoy. This also allows them to maintain their independence. As caregivers, please consider the impact that any changes in your home will have on your loved one prior to making the change. Even simple changes can complicate your loved ones world, and cause them to display aggression. So be careful and minimize change!

Wandering is another behavior that a person with Alzheimer’s/Dementia can display, that is challenging for the caregiver. In the early stages, they can become disoriented or confused. The person may try to go home, become restless, act nervous or anxious because they’re in a crowd, or have a problem locating familiar places like the bathroom. Caregivers should be more alert at certain times of day. Sometimes the person may be adamant about going to work at a particular time of the day because that is what they used to do. Caregiver’s should also pay attention when a person repeatedly states they want to “go home.”