The Path to Forgiveness Study Guide
Moving forward with hope and healing one day at a time
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Using The Path to Forgiveness Study Guide
The Path to Forgiveness (Blue Mountain Arts, Inc.) was published in 2018 for those who want and need to heal from being unjustly off ended by another. It takes you through the four phases of the forgiveness process; acknowledging the hurt and pain, making the decision to forgive, practicing forgiveness strategies, and experiencing the benefits of forgiveness.
The Path to Forgiveness Study Guide is designed to help you look deeper into the forgiveness process. In addition to the quotes, narratives, reflection questions, and affirmations in the book, this study guide incorporates biblical and spiritual references and thoughtful questions for further reflection and written responses. These will enable you to gain greater insights into the application of forgiveness in your life.
This study guide is intended to give you a more focused approach to dealing with the unjust suffering that you have experienced. You can use this study guide, along with The Path to Forgiveness, at a pace that is comfortable to you and the healing you need.
When you have completed this study guide, you will be more aware of the growth you have experienced and how far you have come on the path to forgiveness. Remember, though, the journey is not easy and takes work, but in the end it will be worthwhile.
Phase 1 Acknowledging the Hurt and Pain
You cannot change in your life what you are not willing to accept. Forgiveness begins by acknowledging that you have been unfairly hurt by another. Developing an awareness of how the wrong you suffered has affected your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will help provide the foundation for your healing.
Part 1: Chapters 1–5
Considering how your life has been unjustly affected by the mistreatment you experienced is essential for gaining insight into your suffering and moving forward with new direction and hope.
1. Review the five quotes in these chapters of The Path to Forgiveness. Which quote can you identify with the most? Why?
2. In chapter 1, The Path to Forgiveness states, “The longer you hold on to what happened, the heavier it becomes.” How might the inability to let go of the hurt you suffered negatively affect your life?
4. The emotional weight on your life from being mistreated can vary, depending on the nature of what happened and the effect it had on you. Describe in a few words the feelings that you struggled with the most and how you handled them.
5. There are several stories in these chapters of The Path to Forgiveness of people who were unjustly hurt. Take a few minutes to review them. Which story touched you the most? Why?
6. Read Ephesians 4:31–32.
• What does this passage tell you to do to with your emotions when hurt (v. 31)?
• How are you to do this (v. 32)?
7. Anger is a natural emotion you feel when someone unjustly off ends you. Read Ephesians 4:26. How can anger be used negatively and positively when you are mistreated?
• List the destructive uses of anger.
• List the constructive uses of anger.
8. What might cause you to feel shame when someone has hurt you?
9. Read 1 Corinthians 13:5 and Psalm 103:12. Why is it sometimes difficult to forget what happened when someone has terribly mistreated you?
10. Take a few minutes to review the affirmations in chapters 1–5 of The Path to Forgiveness. If there is one affirmation that you were going to select from these chapters to help you better cope and move forward with forgiveness, which one would you choose? Why?
Phase 2 Making the Decision to Forgive
When you suffer from being unjustly hurt, you have a choice as to how you will respond. You can continue to allow the offense you experienced cause distress in your life, or you can choose to forgive and let go of your painful emotions and thoughts. This phase of the forgiveness process gives you the strength you need to retake control of your healing so that you can move forward with meaning, purpose, and hope in your life once again.
Part 1: Chapters 11–15
In these chapters of The Path to Forgiveness, you will look deeper into the forgiveness process by considering how forgiving might help you to heal. By choosing to follow the path to forgiveness, you are making the decision to transform and invest your time and energy into your healing, not the hurt you suffered or the pain you have been feeling.
1. Forgiveness is often a misunderstood concept. What are some different attitudes or thoughts that you may have heard from others about forgiveness?
2. The Path to Forgiveness defines forgiveness as the following:
A decision you make to pursue healing from an unfair harmful incident by letting go of the disturbing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors it has caused. It’s choosing to transform burdensome emotional and mental energy from what happened into healthy and constructive actions through the practices of compassion, empathy, and benevolence regardless of whether the person who hurt you deserves it.
Considering this definition, how would you explain to another person what forgiveness is in your own words?
3. Reflect on the quotes for each of these chapters in The Path to Forgiveness. Which quote do you think best represents what forgiveness is about? Why?
5. Read Matthew 5:7 and 6:14–15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 2:10. What reasons do these passages give for you to forgive?
6. Do you believe that some people are unable to forgive or that they simply do not want to forgive? Explain your answer.
7. Your thinking has a profound effect on who you are and what you do. How do your thoughts about the mistreatment you have experienced and the person who off ended you affect your feelings and behavior?
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Book Details
About the Book
The Path to Forgiveness Study Guide is designed as a companion to the book, The Path to Forgiveness, to help you look deeper into the forgiveness process and find the peace and healing you need from interpersonal conflict and pain. In addition to the quotes, narratives, reflection questions, and affirmations in the book, this study guide also incorporates biblical references and thoughtful questions for further application and insight.
You can use this study guide, along with The Path to Forgiveness, at a pace that is comfortable to you so that you can move forward from the unjust suffering you have experienced. This study guide can also be used in small groups to lead you and others down the path to forgiveness over a forty-day or eight-week period as you seek to restore meaning and direction to your life.
About the Author
Dr. Preston VanLoon is passionate about interpersonal forgiveness and making a difference in the lives of people and organizations. He is a much sought-after motivational and inspirational speaker who has presented both domestically and internationally and provides daily “Forgive & Live” meditations on KNDR (104.7 FM) radio in Bismarck, ND. Dr. VanLoon is available for speaking engagements including conferences, workshops, and retreats. He would welcome the opportunity to speak to your group, church, school, or organization about the benefits of interpersonal forgiveness. Dr. VanLoon is the author of three books; The Path to Forgiveness (2018, Blue Mountain Arts, Inc.), The Path to Forgiveness Study Guide (2019, WestBow Press), and co-author of Building a Faith to Live By. He has also published curriculum and journal articles on a variety of topics including interpersonal forgiveness, which was the focus of his doctoral dissertation. He has worked as a college professor, pastor, chaplain, and mental health counselor.