Awakening Prince Charming
Autism and the Sacrament of Marriage
by
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One day, he got ready to leave to run some errands. I didn’t have anything to do, so I asked to tag along. He resisted at first.
“Please let me go with you. I’m bored here at the house, and I want to be with you.”
“Why do you want to spend so much time with me? We already spent the morning together. Isn’t that enough?”
“I want to know what you do all day, and then afterwards, we can get some lunch somewhere.”
“Okay. Fine. Hurry up. I’m already late.”
As we sat together in the car, he looked rather peculiar.
“What’s wrong? You look worried. What are you thinking about?”
“I’m a little nervous spending so much time with you.”
“Why? We get along fine.”
“We get along great. You are different from past girlfriends I have had and I like that we don’t spend most of our time together arguing.” He then wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and shifted his body in the car seat while he made a left turn.
“I’m worried that if we spend too much time together, we will start fighting all the time. You seem so easy to get along with and we don’t fight, but I don’t know how long it will last. May-be we shouldn’t spend so much time together.”
“Why would we stop getting along if we spend time together? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know but this is how all of my relationships start and then they all end up badly. Well, our relationship is so much better, but I don’t want to spend too much time with you so that it won’t go bad. I want to enjoy my time with you and I don’t want you to end up hating me like everyone else.”
“Why did your past relationships end up badly?”
“I don’t know.”
My husband couldn’t explain why his past relationships went bad. Had he known how to self-reflect, we may have saved ourselves the heartache that was coming.
Our honeymoon phase lasted two months. Shortly after this conversation, I noticed that my hus-band started to push me away. We stopped connecting. He became disinterested in our family life. He stopped talking with me, and started to hide things from me. My husband would grab my arms and push me away whenever I tried to hug him. I couldn’t understand why he was physically and emotionally pushing me away.
Although my husband didn’t want any personal contact with me, I was able to convince him to watch a movie with me one Saturday. My husband put a blanket on the floor, and I made us some snacks. We started commenting on the movie and laughing together. This led to talking to each other like we used to. I felt the connection coming back, and I could tell my husband was feeling it, too. He smiled at me and kept inching closer to me as we sat on the blanket. As he got closer to me, his hand brushed mine. I leaned in to kiss him because it felt natural in that moment to do so. I felt the butterflies coming back until he abruptly pushed me away and got up to go to the kitchen.
Tears started to fall down my cheeks. I held a pillow close to me as I cried. My husband saw me crying and said, “It’s your fault for trying to get close to me. You are ruining things between us.” He reminded me how he thought being together was a waste of time because neither one of us was making money. “I’m not interested in being close to you, so you need to stop trying.”
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About the Book
My brothers used to call me “Cinderelli” because I was constantly baking or cleaning when we were growing up. They used to ask, “Where is your Prince Charming?” The long-awaited wedding day came, and after only two years of marriage, I was ready to leave my husband with a newborn in my arms. I could not bear the mental anguish that I was experiencing due to my husband’s belligerent behavior. I was contemplating divorce when a spiritual inspiration revealed to me that my spouse had autism. This personal revelation led my husband and I on a journey of healing, forgiving, and change of heart thanks to the influence of the atonement, the teachings of Jesus Christ, and my background in special education. Awakening Prince Charming: Autism and the Sacrament of Marriage documents my introspective process of faith and critical thinking that enabled my husband and I to keep the vows we made to each other when we said, “I do.” Since my change of heart and approach, I have witnessed the miracle of the power of the Holy Ghost and the love of God awakened my Prince Charming.
About the Author
Roscelia Dávila graduated with a B.S. in Early Childhood Education and then with a specialization in Special Education. She worked as a Special Education teacher for several years before undertaking the journey of living with someone with autism which inspired her to write this book. She has overcome significant marital obstacles by critically analyzing how autism affects her husband and their relationship and applying the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ such as forgiveness and charity to save her marriage. Her deepest hope is that her journey may help others in a similar circumstance. Roscelia is currently a stay at home mom with two businesses and focusing on the education of her child with Down syndrome. Roscelia and Santiago are enjoying a more stable and happy union.