Triumphant in the Trenches (Victory Despite Challenges)

Accepting the shift in our lives has been monumental. My own personal endeavors allowed me to enjoy a career as a certified career coach, public speaker, workshop facilitator, life coach, and advisor. The rewards of making a difference in the lives of others were a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Leaving this routine and comfortable place of familiarity was quite an emotional journey.

I began transitioning my thoughts to arrive at this place with clarity and assurance that it was the right time. After at least six months of redirecting my focus, I now had to determine how I would find my place in the next season of my life. Each time we relocated to a new city, we had to adapt to a new neighborhood, new schools, a new church, new organizations, even redefine our identity within the workforce or volunteer organizations. The severity of the impact depended on where we were and what was available to us.

Every time I had to find my connection all over again, I experienced stress, uncertainty, the possibility of rejection, and sometimes concerns for safety. One of the most reassuring things we depended on was the knowledge we could connect with complete strangers within the military community and feel welcomed because they had experienced very similar transitions and challenging adjustments. This time, it would not only be another city, but another country and a radically different culture. It’s all about timing and being open to what your destiny is exposing you to. The lives I have been assigned to touch and impact were waiting for me.

So here I was, finding myself in a similar situation as the many military members I had been advising for years. I had helped them prepare for their new journeys and ask the difficult questions. I did not think this is what I would be doing when I retired. It was time to reevaluate my own goals and put a plan of action in motion. I now had to take my own advice.

I thought I knew what I would do when I retired. The plan was to relax, declutter my house from all of the buildup from over thirty-five years of world travel, and remove all the keepsakes from my children, who were now young adults and living on their own. I wasn’t getting rid of the memories and experiences, but downsizing the excess. When I actually had a few days to walk around and look at some of the things I had accumulated, I realized it was just stuff. I needed to offload it and prepare for the shift into the next season of my life.

Creating a schedule to plan out the next stage of my life helped me declutter. I found that the clutter in our lives can mirror our emotional state of being. The reason we can only take a certain number of suitcases per person on the airplane is to make sure there is sufficient storage space for everyone’s luggage. Also, how fast you can travel in the sky is based on several components, and weight is a key player. If you are going to be triumphant in the trenches, you must get rid of the excess that can slow you down or cause you to drop or lose altitude. My decision to live above the newly created circumstances catapulted me into a fruitful, prosperous, and healthy future.

My life as a military spouse was and still is phenomenal. The shift from active-duty to retired-veteran spouse has proven to be the most enlightening, rewarding, and adventurous season I could have ever asked for. Conversations, emotions, locations, friendships, struggles, forgiveness, victories, disappointments, setbacks, recognitions, rejections, sacrifices, joys, tears, growing pains, elation, stamina, adjustments, love, health challenges, peace, promises, deceit, uncertainty, and faith are all a part of the memories that have brought me to this place in time. I will be forever grateful for the life that I have been given, knowing I am just beginning to write my next chapter of life by completing this one.

Now, here I am, sitting at a kitchen table in the Saudi Arabia, looking back over my life and the divinely strategic experiences that have occurred. I use the word strategic (meaning, “carefully designed or planned to serve a particular purpose or advantage”) to express the importance of why I wrote my memoirs. Not only is this a historical recap of my life from my perspective but also a guide with valuable nuggets of wisdom, years of experience, and tried-and-true methods for living triumphantly in the trenches.

I wrote my story hoping to give hope to someone on their own journey—whether in the beginning, the middle, or even toward the end. Regardless of where you are, I hope at least one experience I have shared will help you live victoriously and operate in the most positive and productive space in your mind. My memoir was intended to leave a legacy for my family and encourage spouses everywhere that they too can overcome and be trendsetters for future generations, whom I pray will positively affect the world and live triumphantly in the trenches.