Dear Single Mama: Letters of Encouragement

Week 1

Dear Single Mama,

Prayer, chocolate, and Duct Tape will fix just about anything!

Single Mamas are unique creatures designed specifically with courage, strength, durability, and a little bit of grit mixed in with some “Bless your heart.”

That’s a very specific mix stirred by God Himself to guarantee that children around the world will have a fair shake at survival in ever-increasing fatherless households. A quick internet search will populate very startling statistics: In the United States alone, more than 80% of the 15 MILLION single parent-led households are women.

This means that 21 million children in the United States alone are being raised by strong, courageous, barely-surviving-but-you-would-never-know-it women that have learned how to make macaroni into a meal and stretch a dollar further than ever thought possible.

Don’t worry, God knows what he’s doing. Ephesians 2:10 says this: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10 NIV 2011) He knows you better than you know yourself. Be strong. Be courageous. Be fierce. Be free.

Week 2

Dear Single Mama,

One of God’s greatest gifts is his mercy. There is NOTHING that you have or haven't done that would prevent him from loving you or cause him to give up on you.

Wake up tomorrow knowing that this new year can be different. The trials will still be difficult, and the lessons will still sometimes hurt, but this year, let the desire to please the Lord be greater than your desire to please yourself. Let your joy come from knowing that at some point this year, you WILL experience blessings, both large and small.

You are beautiful, strong, capable, and loved beyond a measure that we will ever be fully grasped. I pray that his full glory will be shown to you throughout the New Year.

Week 3

Dear Single Mama,

In case you forgot today, your situation was not a surprise to God. You have the heart of a warrior, with a battalion of heavenly beings all around you. You are the epitome of strength and grace, built by the King of Kings.

You are not forgotten, he sees you.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1 NIV 2011)

Week 4

Dear Single Mama,

I heard a podcast about something I absorbed quickly that I wanted to share. He spoke about there being men that are good at "being" men but they aren't good men.

How often do we look at men from that angle when looking for spouses, boyfriends etc. Sure they might be able to fix stuff, beat their chest, make money, and leave a lingering scent of testosterone that evokes our lust inducing radars. But what about their spirituality, do they have a personal relationship with Jesus? What about their morals and character? How do they treat people, how are their relationships with those close to them, etc? Can they and do they hold themselves accountable?

Are we taking the time to observe what is ultimately going to be the most important difference between finding a man and finding a good one. Slow your roll, pay attention and be observant. Better to wait long than marry wrong.

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

Week 5

Dear Single Mama,

Are you at your rock bottom? Your fight is gone and you feel like you have exhausted your storehouse of strength?

Your children are watching you navigate your battles. Let them see you pray, hear your words of power spoken, and let them see you in action.

Quitting is NOT an option! That last step you about to avoid taking could be the step that actually starts a brand-new journey of joy and peace.

2 Chronicles 15:7 says “But as for you, be strong and DO NOT give up, for your work will be rewarded.” Pray, train, conquer, and repeat! (2 Chronicles 15:7 NIV 2011)

Whatever your challenge is, pray and pray some more. Train for whatever your challenge requires, whether it is finances, a relationship, a sin that you can’t break free from, or your health.

Keep going, attack, attack, then attack AGAIN until you conquer your challenge. You have a God that is for you and He is making a way for you right now.

Week 6

Dear Single Mama,

Valentine’s Day...

For some people it's just another day and for others it's a painful reminder of what they lack.

I think every one of us longs for that man who knows how to comfort us, to take control when needed but be gentle and compassionate when our independent personalities are feeling weak.

He knows our past and loves us anyway. He knows how to make us laugh and knows what to do to make us feel loved and protected when we are scared.

I'm pretty sure I just described Jesus.

This year love the search for Jesus more than your search for a guy. Search out Jesus more instead of searching for Mr. Right. He wants to give you the desires of your heart, but he wants to be desired more than any other man in creation…choose wisely!

Week 7

Dear Single Mama,

Of all the women in the Bible we can relate to so many, but few were single women, which led me to read about Jephthah’s daughter in Judges 11:30-39.

There are a few things we can learn from her in this story regarding character based on her fate of "singleness" (for lack of a better word).

Jephthah’s daughter was stoic in her situation; she had a quiet grace upon learning of her fate. Learning that attribute whether you are a single mom, or a single lady, can be a good challenge.

You can ask yourself, "do I complain of my situation? Do I let emotions rule in place of dignity?"

Jephthah’s daughter was obedient to God, to her father and to her circumstances. While you are in this season of singleness, it’s important to stay obedient to what you are being called to. This could be going to back to school, serving in a ministry, leading a life group, or simply joining one.

Jephthah’s daughter is a true example of self sacrifice for God and her country; serving others is the purest form of that today.

Whatever you are gifted in, give that! It could be cooking, working with children, praying for someone, volunteering your time somewhere, or any number of other valiant pursuits.

I think there are beautiful lessons in every season, so look for them and embrace them.