Eve, Where Are You?

“It’s time,” God said to me. And I knew he was no longer accepting any of my excuses. It was a profound moment because I discerned that it wasn’t just time for me alone anymore. He was saying, “It’s time for women.”

The topic of female leadership in the church has been a source of great debate for centuries. I for one was not interested in the debate. I accepted the status quo that men were the leader and women the follower, yet I never internalized the limitations directed toward women embedded in that ideology. When I was a new Christian, I was under the impression that pastors were supposed to be men. I thought this way because all I had ever been exposed to were male senior pastors. I saw women taking on leadership positions in other capacities within the church, but I never seriously considered them as occupying the role as a senior pastor. I accepted the idea of copastors with a husband and wife pastoring together, yet I still saw the husband as the primary leader. What I was exposed to definitely skewed my thinking about women as church leaders. I remember having conversations about whether I would be willing to sit under a female pastor, and the answer was a swift no. There were a couple of churches in our geographical region with women senior pastors, and it just seemed to be a rare exception to the rule. I wasn’t against it. Women could pastor if they wanted to; I just didn’t want to attend a church led by one.

The issues regarding the devaluation and rejection of female church leaders became more real the moment my son challenged me that fateful Sunday afternoon. My life has not been the same. From my son’s single question, I have made some significant moves in my life. I pursued a doctorate in conflict analysis and resolution and studied the impact of the patriarchal system on gender imbalance and how various female pastors overcame the stigma that I came to accept as facts of life. I changed churches and was soon thereafter ordained to function as an associate pastor. I cofounded Empower to Engage with my husband where we provide leadership and personal development resources, training, coaching, and consulting in the areas of marriage, parenting, and organizational leadership; and, we’ve coauthored several books.

As a woman, a pastor, and a marketplace leader, I can now fully recognize my value and ministry opportunities in all of these areas. Godly ministry operates in many forms and in many spheres of influence, whether sanctioned within a church or private institution. Knowing this, I cannot allow myself to get lost in the opinions of others. It is God whom I desire to please, and I’ve learned that he needs the women he calls to show up and step into the light. He needs women to accept a seat at the table. He needs women to take their position in the battle for our families, our communities, our churches, and society at large. It is time for the woman’s role to equal a man’s role in relevance and acceptance at the highest levels. And God needs women to represent him well no matter where we are or what we are doing anywhere we are in the world. What does this mean regarding how we as women live and move about the earth? Only you can answer these questions as they pertain to your own life.

Since I understand that God has given me skills, abilities, and talents for his use, it has changed the way I conduct myself. I fully understand that he expects much from me because I’m made in his image and his likeness. I no longer accept boundaries or man-sanctioned limitations on what I can be or accomplish because I know who God is in me. Can you say the same? If you’re not sure, I ask the question, Eve, where are you?

Eve is every woman who has lived, loved, and dreamed. Eve represents every nationality, creed, and color. Eve is succeeding and failing, yet she still needs to discover her full identity. Eve is bold sometimes and fearful at others. Eve is the woman who needs to experience her next level of greatness. Eve is me. Eve is you. The question is a real one that deserves a solid answer. This is not just my story; this is our collective story.

Women have to find their voices and make choices that matter primarily to the one looking back at them in the mirror. It is not my desire to present the information in this book as a womanist or feminist. I simply believe in the equality of women and the right for women to be able to fully accomplish any goal or career aspiration they desire. I have no plan to create a she-woman man haters club. Although there are women who would like to believe we rule the world, men are just as powerful as we are. No one can convince me otherwise. I love, respect, and need men. Let me state that again. I love, respect, and need men. I have been blessed to have a husband and two sons who have been the biggest supporters of my work. It is a testament that God’s desire is that men and women care deeply for one another and value one another’s place in this world.