What if it is true? I mean, what if it is really, entirely, completely, undeniably, infinitely true? What if you actually believed it to be true? What if it is true that you are of inherent and priceless value? What if you are absolutely, inherently precious? What if it is true that you are extremely loved? What if it is true that, at your heart’s core, you believed, and lived out, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, a reflection that you are of priceless value and the object of the greatest, deepest love? What if it is true, that your value and the essence of being loved is NOT based on how you looked, or how well you did something? What if it is NOT based on how others have seen you in the past, and how much value and love they did or didn’t place on you? What if your ‘lovability’ is not established by how others see you as lovable? What if it is true that your value is actually inherent? What if your value and lovability could never be altered, or weakened, or lessened? What if it is true that your enormous value and being so greatly loved is actually threaded into the very, unmovable, stitches of your soul?
If I weren’t tied to being grammatically correct, I would have certainly not ended each sentence above with a question mark (?). Instead, I would have ended these preceding sentences with an exclamation mark (!). Simply put, these concepts are not in question, as they are statements of fact and are entirely true. You and I have faced a lifelong messaging system, and have been tempted to bring a question mark to these truths. And we, for the most part, have bought into many of the lies, hook line and sinker. However, these concepts are entirely true, rock solid true, have always been true, and will always be true! You are inherently, enormously and infinitely loved and you are valued as priceless!
In actuality, what is most common is that we have come to believe the opposite – namely that the foundation of our own personal value and love is based on something else entirely, other than our own inherent nature. Would you not agree that the messaging of a lifetime has proved evidence that your value was based on what you do, or how well you do it, what you say, or how well you say it? I invite you to finish this sentence, “I am loved if ….” Depending on your environment, your family, your work, your education, your surroundings, etc., the remainder of the sentence will probably be completed consequently. Unfortunately, this ending of the above sentence, in most cases, wasn’t completed in full view of God’s valuation of your worth and your value. My argument is that there is another end of the sentence that is more accurate and consistent with God’s heart and the truth of God’s Word. The truest completion to the sentence is, “I am loved because of my enormous inherent value.”
We Love Because He First Loved Us
In moving ourselves to a place where we are correctly able to love others with the most beautiful of all motives, I believe, we must first come to a place where we understand how much we are valued and how much we are loved. In I John 4:19, we read the short, but very profound verse, “We love, because He first loved us.” What happens first? He loved us. This is pure and simple. Because He first loved us, we can love others. Both of the words, ‘love’ in this verse are based on the word, ‘agape.’ Agape is often referred to as ‘God’s love.’ Even more, this word is based on a decision, an act of the will. We choose to love, as a decision, a commitment, and an act of the will. The first ‘love’ that is referenced is a present verb tense and in the active voice. In other words, we make a decision to love presently and actively. The second ‘love’ is also in the active voice, namely that God is active in the process of loving us. In other words, God’s active love is the foundation for how and why you are to actively love others.
The foundational study of how you are loved precedes how you, effectively, at the core level, can love others. In our discussion, we won’t move to the second subject, namely loving others, until we have spent adequate time on the study of loving yourself, as God has loved you. How can someone express God’s love to others, if they see themselves as worthless, unloved, unlovable, and without value? They can’t; or at least, they can’t effectively. This is why this verse is so profound. We must first see how we are loved and valued before we can move to effectively loving and valuing others.
I would also add that having the wrong perspective of why you are valued and why you are loved can also have the same result of ineffectively loving others. If someone inaccurately sees their own value as based on the wrong standards, (i.e. their work effectiveness, their proficiency in a subject matter, their ability to do something really well, etc.), would they not ineffectively love others who, according to their estimation, are not of very high value? Can they really effectively love that person if their view of the value of others is improperly estimated and weighted?
As an example, let’s look at a hypothetical scenario. Let’s take the scenario of a father who is an accomplished attorney and views his value as based on his professional accomplishments that he has achieved. His achievements are the result of much focus and, certainly, he has exercised great diligence and commitment. He has developed significant skill and has applied wise strategies toward achieving his success. Let’s say that he has a teenage son, who is much more artistically gifted, but is not academically focused. Wouldn’t there be the inadvertent tendency of this father, though he is well intentioned, to communicate to his child, that he must attain the same high level of academic success in school? I’m sure you would agree that this would be a reoccurring topic of much of the conversation around the dinner table. Would it not be easy for this child to interpret, that unless he is successful in school or in life, he isn’t of the greatest value, and therefore, may not be greatly loved as a result? Arguably, diligence in school is to be encouraged as it provides many benefits. Of course, this father has great intentions for his son. Naturally, we want the very best for our children. However, the default nature of someone who incorrectly estimates his own value will be to improperly communicate the same erroneous perspective to others regarding their own assessment of worth.