Hinges

The Overpowering Sense of Self

We are born into a world with an overwhelming sense of self. In fact, when we are born, we are all self. If you ask a two-year-old why the sun comes up, he/she will say something to the effect: “to warm me up.” Everything in a two-year-old’s universe is about them. Then we slowly learn there are other human beings in the world like us. We slowly learn there are other people with needs and wants just like us. We slowly realize we are not the center of the universe, even though some parents do their best to do otherwise, by indulging us, and prolonging the lies we tell ourselves about how important we are. Unfortunately, this can become a life-long endeavor of believing we are the center of the world around us.

If we grow emotionally, we learn about something called ‘empathy,’ where we can learn about the needs and wants of other people and begin to do things for these other people. We learn to give our money to a ‘charity’ or help people in need or buy people gifts that they want. However, many times this ‘charity’ toward others comes with a heavy price to our egos, so we want others to know how ‘good’ we are, how thoughtful we are, how generous we are. We want to be ‘seen’ for our gifts, our service, our ‘good,’ or our devotions.

And this is why Jesus warns us about our overpowering sense of self in the book of Matthew, chapter six: “do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,” (in other words, be unaware). Or when you pray do it in secret (be hidden). Or when you go without things like food (fasting), do it so no one will know (again-hidden). So, Jesus is telling us to practice a kind of invisibility; a hiddenness to others when we do ‘charitable’ acts or show our devotion to God.

So then, what does this hiddenness do for us? It disciplines us to become forgetful of ourselves. It helps us begin to lose that overpowering sense of self that we carry around with us all our lives.

But wait! How can we be the salt of the earth and the light for the world if we keep our ‘good deeds’ hidden? Our visibility, our saltiness is in following Jesus and keeping our eyes on Him. Our light to this world is our patience and suffering in a world that knows neither. So, when Jesus comes again and we are assembled before Him, “Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out the sheep and goats, putting sheep on his right and goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why: I was hungry and you fed me; I was thirsty and you gave me a drink; I was homeless and you gave me a room; I was shivering and you gave me clothes; I was sick and you stopped to visit; I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then those sheep are going to say. ‘Master what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?” And why were ‘the sheep’ unaware of these acts of devotion to Jesus? Because we ‘sheep’ have been cultivating a way to overcome our overpowering sense of self. And why did the ‘goats’ ask the same question? Because they never saw the needs of others in the first place. They were overpowered by their sense of self all their lives.The Overpowering Sense of Self

We are born into a world with an overwhelming sense of self. In fact, when we are born, we are all self. If you ask a two-year-old why the sun comes up, he/she will say something to the effect: “to warm me up.” Everything in a two-year-old’s universe is about them. Then we slowly learn there are other human beings in the world like us. We slowly learn there are other people with needs and wants just like us. We slowly realize we are not the center of the universe, even though some parents do their best to do otherwise, by indulging us, and prolonging the lies we tell ourselves about how important we are. Unfortunately, this can become a life-long endeavor of believing we are the center of the world around us.

If we grow emotionally, we learn about something called ‘empathy,’ where we can learn about the needs and wants of other people and begin to do things for these other people. We learn to give our money to a ‘charity’ or help people in need or buy people gifts that they want. However, many times this ‘charity’ toward others comes with a heavy price to our egos, so we want others to know how ‘good’ we are, how thoughtful we are, how generous we are. We want to be ‘seen’ for our gifts, our service, our ‘good,’ or our devotions.

And this is why Jesus warns us about our overpowering sense of self in the book of Matthew, chapter six: “do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,” (in other words, be unaware). Or when you pray do it in secret (be hidden). Or when you go without things like food (fasting), do it so no one will know (again-hidden). So, Jesus is telling us to practice a kind of invisibility; a hiddenness to others when we do ‘charitable’ acts or show our devotion to God.

So then, what does this hiddenness do for us? It disciplines us to become forgetful of ourselves. It helps us begin to lose that overpowering sense of self that we carry around with us all our lives.

But wait! How can we be the salt of the earth and the light for the world if we keep our ‘good deeds’ hidden? Our visibility, our saltiness is in following Jesus and keeping our eyes on Him. Our light to this world is our patience and suffering in a world that knows neither. So, when Jesus comes again and we are assembled before Him, “Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out the sheep and goats, putting sheep on his right and goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why: I was hungry and you fed me; I was thirsty and you gave me a drink; I was homeless and you gave me a room; I was shivering and you gave me clothes; I was sick and you stopped to visit; I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then those sheep are going to say. ‘Master what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?” And why were ‘the sheep’ unaware of these acts of devotion to Jesus? Because we ‘sheep’ have been cultivating a way to overcome our overpowering sense of self. And why did the ‘goats’ ask the same question? Because they never saw the needs of others in the first place. They were overpowered by their sense of self all their lives.