Indescribable

The invitation to go

My wife, Lucy, and I were invited to go on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje by her friend, Pearl. She was Lucy’s classmate in kindergarten. She lives in Canada. She went to Medjugorje in 2008. While there, she prayed to our Blessed Mother for her husband’s health. She promised that she would return every year if her husband’s health improved. Sure enough, her husband’s health improved, and she returned to Medjugorje in 2009. In 2010, her husband, an atheist, had improved his health to such a degree that he wanted to join her on her trip to Medjugorje. So, Pearl invited us to join them.

It happened that my wife had a business-related engineering education conference in Kraków, Poland, prior to the pilgrimage. Divine Providence, not coincidences, arranged our trip to Medjugorje.

For me, I reasoned that any pilgrimage would be a good thing for my diaconate formation. Besides, I should be charitable to lend a helping hand to Pearl and her husband if they needed it. I said “yes” in mind and heart to go to Medjugorje.

Consecrate to Christ

Pilgrimage being a good thing is supported by a brochure I found on a park bench in our first day of exploring the city of Kraków. The brochure was a tourist guide to all the pilgrimages sites in Kraków. After studying the various tourist guides. I said “yes” in my mind to follow the recommendations of the brochure so that I could grow in knowledge about relics and saints. The pilgrimages included a visit to the convent of St. Faustina, the Apostle of Divine Mercy, canonized in 2020. Her message, “Jesus, I trust in you,” on the image of the Divine Mercy, made little impression on me at that time. But it became a key element of my life two weeks later without my conscious knowledge …

A month prior to the trip, our group was asked to consider consecrating ourselves to the Blessed Mother by praying a 33-day novena. Even though I prayed the novena, I was not sure what consecration to the Blessed Mother meant. Immediately upon arrival at Medjugorje, I prayed in front of the Blessed Mother Statue at St. James Church. I asked

her what it meant and what I should do. The answer came back in a clear voice message, “Consecrate yourself to my Son.” I thought that she wanted me to consecrate myself to Christ in my diaconate vocation. I said “yes” in my will to

consecrate to Jesus without really knowing what consecration meant.

My trip to Apparition Hill, Medjugorje

On the next day, the tour guide led us up Apparition Hill where the Blessed Mother first appeared to the children. It was a warm sunny day with no breeze. The climb was strenuous, and we prayed the rosary as we climbed. Flowing through my head was that I could have prayed the rosary back home, 5000 miles away. Why was I sweating and puffing to climb this hill? But since I was already there, the money already spent, and there was nothing else better to do, I reasoned that I might as well continue. In every sense of the word, I was no longer in control, I just moved my legs, and I recited the rosary.

It was a strange sensation which I did not recall ever experienced before. It was a total surrender to the events, people, and things around me. I remember saying to myself that I should just let things happen and go along. Little did I realize that I was blessed with the grace of abandonment to God. I said “yes” whole heartedly to letting God lead me to where He wanted me to be. Without knowing it, I practiced Faustina’s vision, “Jesus, I trust in You.”

The blessing

On top of the hill was a statue of the Blessed Mother overlooking the village of Medjugorje … I walked behind the statue and looked down into the valley on the other side of the hill … While walking towards the edge of the hill I was hit with divine peace, a feeling of calm that came all over my body. This sense of peace lasted probably less than a second. Immediately, I knew it was a peace that was not describable. But the message from God was crystal clear: “Write about it!” My next thought was, “God, you are funny. How can I write about something that cannot be described?”